


DOG'S PLAN

by alostautumn2k16



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adult Humour, Crack Treated Seriously, Dogs, Dogs-Turning-Human, Fluff, M/M, Moderate Sexual References/Content, Mutual Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Romantic Comedy, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alostautumn2k16/pseuds/alostautumn2k16
Summary: The wildly opposing worlds of reality-television, cute animals, and highly covert biowarfare all come to a head in this lengthy tale about Kyungsoo, a tired millennial, who lets an overly affectionate dog into his home after discovering him abandoned on his porch.[Takostation round 3 For prompt #37]





	DOG'S PLAN

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:  
> hi guys! so this is a long fic so i won’t babble like i usually do!! firstly— all the love to you my beloved prompter. please take my sincere apologies bc i took your lovely prompt and shaped it and then it went a bit weird and.. I hope you still find some enjoyment in it regardless ;-; to the tako mods, thank you for all the time you’ve given and for the patience you have shown me over this fest! i have really appreciated it c’: !! 
> 
> lastly to the kind readers attempting this: ill warn that this is written in a style that will become very obvious once you start— if its not for you, thats okay hehe. expect referenced rap r&b music / an obscure british dating show / and lots and lots of inappropriate thoughts.
> 
> so enjoy guys ! thanks for reading and— be well always!!

-

 

All good stories begin with either a death or a birthday.

This is a mediocre story at best so it begins with a _belated_ birthday. It was Kyungsoo’s belated birthday party and he was spending it the way he spent all his birthdays.

Ergo: smoked out of his brain, grinding and dabbing in an exclusive club, pumped full of strong alcoholic cocktails and (!!!!) ready to pounce on an unmarried semi-decent d--

Thus, with this vivid image now ingrained in our minds, our prologue opens-- defined as the introductory segment of a story in which key characters, central themes, and in this case, lazy and unexceptional beams of foreshadowing are introduced to the reader.

-
    
    
    **PROLOGUE:**
    THE BIRTHDAY BOY AND HIS BEST FRIEND
    
    _ >>   i like it x cardi b _  

-

The setting is _CLUB BUSTED_. A thick heedy bassline tears through the dancefloor -- spun by a DJ with braided hair wearing candyfloss pink Moschino pyjamas with the words _BABY BEAR_ scribbled in white around it. 

His audience is a packed dance floor -- a sweaty cloud of bodies all pulsating to the same song in various rhythms. In the middle, an anomaly emerges. A newly entered man in a three-piece suit, still fresh from work judging by the briefcase he was holding which was hitting everyone in its way right in the crotch.

The stranger is combing the dance floor for one person. The birthday boy. He finds him by some miracle after he hears the man’s familiar style of drunken laughter-- gurgly and deep. He is trapped in the middle of half-dressed men. The stranger manages to squeeze in between everyone and rasps his invitation just as the DJ subjects the crowd to another underwhelming bass drop.

There, the prologue to a prologue: _over_.

 

“Kyungsooooooo!” 

“HEY YIXING YOU WANNA DANCE?”

“Kyungsooooo… gimme a minute please? I need to wish you a happy birthday!”

 

 

“But,” With every inch of him physically cornered by spicy drunk men, the birthday boy -- Kyungsoo -- thought it was a strange time for Yixing to greet him -- but ever the best friend, he courteously swayed himself out of the semi-circle of hunks and let the other man pull him away to the quieter side of the bar.

Once there, he expected to get a free round of drinks. Or at least a balloon. Instead what he got was a sharp flick in the ear. 

“Hey!”

“You!!!” The club was a little too dark -- and Kyungsoo, a little too drunk -- to value the level of disappointment washing Yixing’s features. But it was there and the birthday boy would be the recipient of these feelings after the older and wiser Zhang Yixing, his best friend and guardian angel, then grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him to the rhythm of the DJ’s next song-- “KYUNGSOO! How could you! You told me you’d change! You told me you wouldn’t have a birthday like this ever again!”

“What?” Kyungsoo gasped, as his head bobbed back and forth, “I never told you that!”

“You did!” lamented Yixing, “Last year, at this exact club! That’s what you told me!” 

It took a moment of forced clarity for Kyungsoo to remember exactly what Yixing was referring to. He’d had so many birthdays at this club that it was hard to differentiate between the fuzzy memories. But he did sense that last year’s had been _particularly_ wild after he was dared by a co-worker to try and outdo the notorious studio/office Christmas party. Some bouncers were involved. - popsicle party in the middle of January. A bouncy castle.

With a custom-made stripper pole.

Smothered in layers of candy. 

“...hey,” Kyungsoo held Yixing’s cheeks and did his best to flash him a reassuring smile, “at least I didn’t have a bouncy castle this time!”

“That’s true,” Yixing affirmed. He shook his head and let go of Kyungsoo before dabbing his forehead with a hanky, “... But this is still different to what you promised me. You told me that you would have a birthday party that you’d invite your Mama to.” 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes as he privately signalled the bartender to fetch them a round. “Look. I invite my Mama to all my parties. It just happens that my birthday falls during Epiphanytide! -- which reminds me,” the drinks were offered and Kyungsoo was swift to plant one in Yixing’s empty hand, “Happy Epiphanytide!”

Yixing reluctantly accepted the greeting and they shared a toast together. After, the older man reached across and pulled the birthday boy into a tight hug. 

“Happy belated birthday, Kyungsoo. I got your present here. I put in a little extra… since I couldn’t see you on your actual day…” 

The present was in a glittery paper bag. Kyungsoo opened it and felt his entire face light up with joy at the sight of the small collectible shepherd-boy figurine in his hand. “... I got it from a friend combing the U.S. for antique art.”

“YOU’RE THE BEST AAAAAAGH!” Kyungsoo clutched the figurine to his sweaty open chest, “This is going to look great next to the others. Thanks!” 

“You’re welcome birthday boy,” said Yixing softly before beckoning the other to come closer as he added, “Now for the extra part. _Some advice_.” 

Instantly the birthday boy’s face fell. _Here we go_ , his brain huffed as it quietly shut down, perfectly aware of what was coming. This always happened. Every year, since the beginning of their friendship at that teen summer camp, Yixing had pulled him across and given him a thinly-veiled scolding through so-called _advice_. From _you shouldn’t snog camp counsellors and then get their names wrong_ to _please don’t use my wifi hotspot to watch anime_ , Kyungsoo had heard it all and frankly, it was a really good way to map out a selection of the questionable life choices he had made over the years. 

“... you’re twenty seven now, and I think it’s about time that you thought about-- settling down with someone. I, as well as your other close friends, really want to see you on dates, seeking real connections, building meaningful relationships. It’s about time, don’t you think?” 

Unfortunately for Yixing, despite his good advice, he never seemed to select the best time to give them to Kyungsoo. For example, when he preached about not tonguing down multiple camp counsellors at the same camp, it had been during fitness class whereby _all_ Kyungsoo could think about was not drowning in the cold lake after their canoe turned over -- and now, Yixing was telling him to find his true love in a place that was constructed for people who craved the exact opposite. It all served to moderate the effects of his thoughtful words and it was obvious now as Kyungsoo downed a fourth shot.

Four more and he would be down for something _real_ nasty… which again, re-emphasises how vaguely Yixing’s advice actually affected him. 

But the birthday boy did respond, having expected this question to come up with someone since turning the big two-seven. 

“Look Yixing.” He began as he suppressed a drunken hiccup, “I’m-- really busy right now. And _stressed_. _Thirteen Diamonds_ , my pride and joy, is doing _amazing_ in ratings so of course I can’t be dating.” 

“You’re doing too much,” sighed Yixing, “Look. You’re even celebrating your birthday late because you had a taping.” 

The birthday boy took another shot -- and then sent his friend the flash of a gummy smile, “Hey, it’s totally cool. You don’t see it… nobody does… but every part of my life has to be dedicated to that show… if I was with someone, then they would need to commit too. And who would be stupid enough to do that?”

Kyungsoo wasn’t the only one who had prepared. As if jump started by a shock, Yixing reached into his pocket and retracted his phone before launching into a shortlist of people that would be stupid— ahem, _considerate_ enough to do that. This included some familiar names that his best friend had tried to set him up with before. None of which were Kyungsoo’s types (as was the point) and therefore about as attractive to him as a beige wall.

“How about pets then?” Yixing sighed in defeat as he watched the life drain out of Kyungsoo’s eyes, “Something you can hug, love you unconditionally, take on walks, cuddle on rainy days…” 

Pets were a definite no. He was too busy for pets. Sneaking a look over Yixing’s shoulder as he continued to describe pet-related scenarios that sounded too close to the enduring plots of Lifetime movies, Kyungsoo met the eyes of a familiar blonde who had navigated to the edge of the floor to find him after they had spent a good fraction of the night dancing together. 

Kyungsoo offered him a bold wink.

The blonde shyly did it back. 

“-- something I can ride?” Kyungsoo interjected as Yixing considered the suggestion before nodding brightly. 

“Hmm. Sure!”

“Great!” Kyungsoo finished off his eight shot and offered the cute blonde across the bar a wave before giving Yixing’s shoulder a hard squeeze, “I’ll do exactly that then. Thanks again for the figurine. Facetime you tomorrow. Love you!” 

His friend looked on in horror, in muted judgement, as the birthday boy slipped across the dance floor, and slipped his tongue into another guy’s mouth with shameless confidence.

And just to add insult to injury, an excited voice spiked over the music and announced a loud, 

_“KYUNGSOO! IT’S YOUR BAE-KHYUN HERE WOOOOOHOOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU LEGEND! YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR BIG DAY? WELL YOU’RE WRONG! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT WE GOT YOU THIS YEAR! LOOK ABOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ANNOYING ASSHOLE!_ ” 

 

Yixing’s jaw fell to its lowest as he looked up with the rest of the patrons at the sight of the suspended _bouncy castle_ being lowered from the centre of the ceiling. From every angle, the house was an exact carbon copy of the bouncy castle that still haunted his nightmares from last year. 

In its presence, he felt instantly nauseous and proceeded to leave quickly after it touched the sticky club floor. It was probably a wise decision -- considering _what_ Kyungsoo would subsequently use the bouncy castle for.

A premise he teased at with his companion after pulling him down for another deep kiss as the party continued to convulse around them. 

 

To really save on the word count, this fun amended scene could easily be visualised with a few lines from the recently released mixtape of the handsome blonde // upcoming rapper Kyungsoo had ‘met’ - which are widely believed to have been inspired by that night: 

 

__
    
    
     **taken from: ‘SalaREEEEEE’ - by lil bigbucks, 00.56 sec** 

**> >**

bouncy castle on your birthday, four-walled vinyl palace,  
ass, ass, ass, you already know what’s goin’ on,  
down on your knees for the coronation  
but it’s my throne you’re jumpin on… 

_  
_

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was unlikely at this point that one wouldn’t have a list of preconceptions about Do Kyungsoo after such a chaotic and morally dubious opening scene -- but as with every individual, there are many sides to him that contradict his party-boy style almost entirely.

He was a hardworking junior T.V. executive producer-- earning his own keep, paying his own bills, and suffering from the same soul-crushing insecurities as every other millennial. His home was small but kept very neat. Living with others had never been an option as he viewed his personal space as something _holy_ \-- too precious to be shared -- so he lived alone in this small neat house with his collection of DVDs, video games, CDs, various electronic equipment and his beloved _figurines_. 

The figurines were kept in his spare room in a huge glass case. They ranged from rare official collectibles that he had inherited from dead family members -- to new cool pop-style figurines he had spotted on his travels. There were cute little glass angels chilling with a plastic _Ronald McDonald_ from his first venture as a Happy Meal toy -- to a cool emerald dragon with its large mouth bared open at a small round egg that produced a jittery toy chick whenever a little button in its back was squeezed. This was probably the only space in his house that appeared disordered at first glance. But it wasn’t. Kyungsoo kept them in the order he had found them, as to preserve the memories and the people that had gifted them to him. 

Yixing’s figurine -- a tiny boy shepherd with rosy cheeks blowing bubbles -- was added to this mix, now the neighbouring companion to a set of early 00s _Super Mario_ figures he had privately bought himself for his birthday.

Most of Kyungsoo’s life was work -- and when he wasn’t working, he was sifting the internet for his next big figurine splurge on his phone or tablet. He wasn’t an angel but he wasn’t some hell-raiser either. He was just your typical guy. Nothing too extraordinary happened to the lives of men like Kyungsoo. And it _had_ to be a specific level of extraordinary to even _be_ extraordinary because when one worked in the entertainment industry, a lot of ordinary things existed that would probably be considered to be already quite extraordinary to the mass-ordinary. Like a dancing cat. Or a man who could do 1000 different voices on command.

But this? The thing that happened to Kyungsoo on a dark chilly night, on the eve of a storm, a minute or so after dragging himself out of his car, totally drained from work? 

This was _extra--extraordinary_.

-
    
    
    **PART I:**
    THE DOG’S ARRIVAL
    
    _ >> you’re so cool x hans zimmer  _  

-

And so it all began after the tired executive came out of his car and clumsily dropped his house keys behind him and in the process of picking it up, spotted a ruffling in the bushes by his front yard. Kyungsoo peered at the source of the movement intensely, curiously, and felt his heart rate pick up as he clamped his fist around his keys.

A shadow emerged from the foliage which solidified into a form that, once posed against the light glow of his house-lights, presented itself to be a _dog_.

A huge dog with white and brown fur and long slender limbs.

It was wagging its tail, mouth open, long tongue out, and barked loudly at him as if in greeting. It had something glowing hanging around its neck and after registering it with his eyes, the dog barked at the executive again. 

_Take it!_

Despite the cold and the ominous whistling of the warring winds, this need to take was the bigger feeling that Kyungsoo felt. Overwhelmed with the immediacy of the urge, he took a few wary steps forwards to bridge the gap between them, crouched, and took the object into his hand. He narrowed his eyes to inspect it more clearly in the dark but found himself yelping back and landing onto his butt as it suddenly rung out with the authoritative sound of a pitchy and disembodied voice:

**WELCOME!  
** THANK YOU FOR ADOPTING ME,  
YOUR NEW CARE COMPANION FROM  
CARING INTELLIGENT ANIMALS!  
MY NAME IS _(INSERT DOG NAME HERE)_  
AND I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU, FOREVER! 

The dog barked again. Kyungsoo’s eyes were wide open as he looked up at the collar, and then back at the dog, and then finally laughed awkwardly to himself. He only had one explanation for this bizarre occurrence and it returned him to his belated birthday night in which one beloved friend couldn’t stop rattling on about him getting a pet.

“Haha Yixing,” the executive said between gritted teeth as he rose to his feet, before raising his voice to invite his friend out, “Nice try.. Take your dog with you, yeah?”

Silence. Aside from the simmering noise of the storm -- _silence_. 

The dog barked again. Kyungsoo shook his head at himself before turning on his feet and composing a short but unimpressed message for Yixing in his head. He put the key in the door and turned the handle. As he stepped in, he found himself shoved slightly to the side as the dog pushed in with shameless intent. 

“Nope-- hey!” he said to it with a frown, “You’re not coming in!”

And as if on cue, the angry sound of _thunder_. 

The big dog whimpered at Kyungsoo’s feet as he fully let himself in.

“Nope!” he jabbed a finger out the door.

A scary flash of lightning followed. It was enough to silence him as the dog appealed again by bowing his head to the floor. 

“Ugh fine!” Kyungsoo said in a panic as he pulled the door ajar, allowing the dog to victoriously claim its spot indoors. 

It did so with absolute obedience, not taking a single step indoors until he did and following him all the way in with his tail high and wagging energetically in the air. 

“Don’t get any ideas,” he told the dog with a cold tone as it strutted after him into the living room, “You’ll be out the _moment_ the weather gets better.”

Again, as if on some automatic cue, the sound of rain battering the glass windows resonated through the house -- and upon looking down at the dog by his feet, Kyungsoo swore that it was smiling. 

 

 

 

 

 

Just like the majority of the planet, Kyungsoo really did appreciate the priceless emotional contribution that dogs have given to mankind. But that appreciation didn’t necessarily translate to an unmet need to _have_ a dog. If anything, he actually preferred cats. They were generally smaller -- far less needy -- and hunted rodents.

What wasn’t there to like?

Eyeing the huge dog as it padded around the house stalking his every move, long furry tail wagging in the air, Kyungsoo wondered if this was why fatherhood had never pulled at him as much as his braver comrades. He appreciated his own space-- it was the only thing he had some control over after all -- and the idea of a tiny ugly baby planting an invisible flag in his own private territory was very upsetting. At least a dog was better than _that_.

If he had found a baby outside? There was _every_ chance he would’ve left it out there for his angelic Christian neighbour to find. 

Just being real. 

“What is it?” he asked the dog, “Are you hungry? Is that it? Is that why you won’t leave me alone?”

The dog didn’t respond of course and simply peered up at him with the same innocent blank eyes. Kyungsoo looked towards the nearest window and concluded that the weather had calmed. He actually needed to run an errand at the corner store as he had no food in the house. Might as well pick up some dog food whilst he was out there.

They walked down to the store together. Kyungsoo had insisted that the dog remained at home but the animal was adamant to come. With no possibility of bridging that language barrier, he allowed the animal to accompany him as he completed the short walk with his coin purse and umbrella tucked under his elbow. 

In no time they arrived at the tired corner store where the radio was playing heavy youth trap. The pair passed by the barely functioning grad student cashier with no trouble, and Kyungsoo picked up the dog food as well as a couple of ramen packets and a can of mushroom soup.

The whole thing barely lasted five minutes. They were at the cashier counter soon enough with Kyungsoo passively reading the signs warning against burglars and armed robbers sat just below the posters of missing people lingering starkly above the cashier’s bobbed head. 

“Nice dog,” commented the cashier as she swiped his items through -- “He got a name?”

“He’s not mine.” Kyungsoo answered as he looked down at Dog who continued to wag his tail, mouth open in delight, “So no name.” 

“Should give him a name,” the cashier said as she gestured towards the total before taking his coins, “Canine mental health. It’s a real thing. Look it up.”

“Not my dog. Not my problem,” was Kyungsoo’s re-insistence before vaguely thanking the girl as he walked towards the exit. 

The dog offered the girl a bark before loyally running after Kyungsoo as the man left through the heavy door. 

 

 

 

 

“HEY!”

“GIMME THE BAG!”

“NO!”

 

 

Kyungsoo held his bag of groceries tightly as a hooded man attempted to seize it from him. He had barely been a step outside of the store when the man approached him showing no regard for place or time as he reached viciously for the items. Kyungsoo hated going to the corner store so the idea that being robbed meant that he was going to have to go there _again_ was a stronger motivation to keep the bag — over the evasion of any serious assault.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” the young man yelled and it was there, as his umbrella and coin purse slipped into the mud, that the unnamed dog appeared and began to bark _violently_ at the assailant. The dog leapt into the air and knocked the man away, forcing him into the puddles of dirt as Kyungsoo wavered backwards on his feet.

The sound of the barking attracted some attention from the few figures that were milling around the street. This practically sent the man scurrying away and Kyungsoo, sweaty and terrified, was pushed to hold the dog back as it snarled and continued to howl after the robber.

“Hey… it’s cool,” he told the dog as it snuffled against his thigh, whimpering just as it had earlier at his doorstep, “Your food’s still here. It’s cool…” 

After retrieving his fallen valuables, a slightly shaken Kyungsoo returned home with his unnamed dog. This wasn’t the first time this had happened to him. Suburbia was a lot more dangerous than they made it out on T.V. But it was the first time that he’d had a dog with him and he couldn’t help but feel thankful. The truth was that he was stubborn enough in these situations to get seriously hurt. Somehow, the dog being there, really saved his ass. 

And for that, Dog ended up being rewarded with a plate of quality dog food and a warm scrub (he had gotten a little muddy during their walk). A set of foreign activities that Kyungsoo ended up completing with no hiccups after some guidance from the internet. It startled him how easily he ended up doing everything considering how much he dreaded chores… and doing things for anyone other than himself. Maybe it was his exhaustion from work essentially turning his brain into jelly but he found the whole thing calming. 

It helped that Dog was super behaved too. And cute. During his bath, which he was very reluctant to do, he even licked Kyungsoo’s nose -- and the executive _laughed_.

Nobody had ever gotten a laugh from licking him anywhere before. Nobody. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“OH SEHUN, YOU HAVE A DAAAAAAATE! Now you have the power to choose between these three lovely ladies. Which question would you like to ask them?”_

A newly showered Kyungsoo watched the T.V. screen keenly, a bowl of his favourite nacho brand on his lap as he laughed along with the crowd at the episode of _Thirteen Diamonds_ screening on late-night. 

Thirteen Diamonds: defined as the most watched reality-TV show on national television ever, #1 worldwide trending (#ThirteenDiamonds) every Wednesday night, and the headache of all major culture & lifestyle journalists who are forced to tune in to the shitshow every week -- happened to be the brainchild of Kyungsoo and his co-producer Byun Baekhyun. 

The origin story was this. 

It was an accidental-genius idea spawned from a project that their supervisor at the TV station had tasked them as interns. They needed a do-or-die T.V. show idea. If they don’t come up with one; then they got the boot. Simple as. They should’ve worked hard on it like everyone else but the two were, to put it simply, _very_ bad and they simply forgot about it until the very last moment. And after they spent their deadline night managing their panic through tequila shots, indulgent sexual anecdotes and hash, the pair thought with unparalleled genius and total confidence -- _what if we made a dating show… with a twist?_. 

The next day they turned up to their board meeting with no concrete plan and only the solid remnants of what they could remember from their vice-filled brainstorm. Kyungsoo took the lead and revealed what he could remember in the vaguest way and outlined a dating show that was a cross between _The Bachelor, Mastermind_ and the _Hunger Games_. Believing that this idea was one they had contemplated for months, their supervisor was completely on board and insisted that they ran with the project.

The two then returned home to the intern dorm, panicked and frantic, with no knowledge of what to do next. Baekhyun vomited into another intern’s pot plant out of terror.

Fortunately, some overseeing god they hadn’t yet disappointed clearly took pity on them because after Kyungsoo threw away the pizza boxes they had ordered the night before, he noticed some scribblings on the outside of a box. 

It was a business plan. Somehow, despite how fucked up they had been the evening before, they had still found a way to make something. And because it was all in Baekhyun’s handwriting, Kyungsoo presumed that it was all him and proceeded to kiss him right on the lips in the living room -- just after the whole vomiting-in-a-pot-plant thing. 

It was the only kiss they would ever share, possibly because of the vomiting-in-a-pot-plant thing, and yet even for that, the moment was immortalised and their friendship, forged for eternity. 

The premise of the show was as follows: a range of eager and excitable men, ranging in ages and interest apply and join the show and through a few over-elaborate games and segments, hosted by Baekhyun, they show-off their talents and wits to thirteen beautiful women. _The Thirteen Diamonds_. And as the rounds pass, the thirteen diamonds are allowed to opt out of a date with the man and in the end, if one diamond remains, then the man has won himself a date with one of the most beautiful women in the country. 

A simple premise really. But the insanity and shamelessness of the games that Baekhyun came up with made it an instant viral hit. Take the first episode in which the contestant’s extravagant claim of having beautiful hands had Baekhyun inciting an impromptu fashion show for _hands_ involving members of the audience and crew. That was the first time they ever trended worldwide and Baekhyun earned the title of _Host with the angel’s fingers_. This also started a social media trend of people recreating iconic music videos with their fingers and even fetched Baekhyun an ad contract with a hand cream company. 

Their ratings spiked. It was unbelievable. Kyungsoo swore that their supervisor _cried_ when he got the report stats after the first month. 

And it had grown only more successful ever since. 

It was their whole entire world and Kyungsoo couldn’t be prouder of it. Sure, he had gone into television with every intention of hosting his own cooking show.

But to have a show he made reach such commercial peaks in his early career was very cool in its own right. 

“It’s a good show, right?” he asked the dog who was slouched over him, no cares whatsoever for his weight or the damp smell of his fur. Kyungsoo had long given up on trying to battle with the dog’s obvious overlying affection for him.

Giving the large animal a few slow pets on the head, the man murmured,

“You know what? I know we’ve only known each other for about three hours-- and I’ll definitely be finding your true owner tomorrow…but I kinda love having you around? I’m sure whoever owns you is one lucky guy or girl…. and thanks again… for saving me from that creep.”

The dog barked itself into life and braced itself on his chest to lick his face, just missing his glasses. It was honestly the strangest thing. Kyungsoo was beginning to lose count of how often the dog has teased him with reactions that suggested that he had some _understanding_ of what he was talking about. Because it was so impossible, and because Kyungsoo was so endeared, he found himself accepting it with a smile. 

“Awwww,” Kyungsoo hummed as he laughed at the slobber on his pyjamas, “That’s… really gross. But. I’ll let you off cause you’re cute.”

Another bark. This time a paw made it onto his face as if to caress it. The executive could do nothing else but laugh again until he heard the dog wince as he tried to hold it. Curious, Kyungsoo inspected the limb and let out a small gasp at the sight of the scar. 

“This looks old. Does it hurt still?” 

This time his non-dog failed to respond and stared at him with the same glassy eyes.

“What… why the fuck am I talking to you like you’ll answer!” he laughed, shaking his head. And why was he talking aloud? Did he normally talk this much on his own? It suddenly felt very noticeable with another organic being in his proximity. 

Looking up as the closing credits of the show played, the executive decided that it was definitely time for bedtime. 

He tidied a little before completing his daily bedtime routine in his ensuite. The dog stayed outside of the bathroom door after a quick-talking to and it was in this silence, sat on the toilet seat with a toothbrush in his mouth, that the executive thought to search up where he might be able to return his new companion. 

He started broad by looking up the name of the organisation that the dog appeared to have come from according to his collar-voice: 

**  
CARING INTELLIGENT ANIMALS**

\-- followed by some keywords, i.e. _dog, lost dog, lost animals, relatively intelligent dogs_ \-- 

But aside from a few enthusiastic blogs written by animal-lovers, nothing noteworthy came up on the search bar.

Plan B was consulting the few people he knew who could help -- and who all probably knew more about dogs than him. There was his personal assistant, Kim Minseok, who would break his back for any possibility of avoiding any _real_ work and if that failed, there was Yixing who was a literal angel on earth and _would_ get anything done if need be.

See. That’s how you solve a problem like Kyungsoo. By unabashedly dumping it on someone else. 

Stretching fitfully as he emerged from the bathroom, all fresh and ready in his boxers and pyjama tee, the executive jumped into bed and practically _collapsed_ into his sleep. Despite all the bright thoughts that may have been spinning in his head, his body was always on the edge of total debilitation so once the position was set, there was no stopping him. 

The poor man snored and dribbled into his memory foam pillow for the next five hours. 

 

 

 

 

Waking up to his usual 5:30am alarm, serenaded by the hard beats of Migos’ _Stir Fry_ , the executive stiffened after turning over and realising that the huge _dog_ had joined him in his bed.

The creature slept through the music, tucked under the sheets, face squished against one of Kyungsoo’s _Iron Man_ cushions. 

Kyungsoo groaned as he prepared himself for work which involved suiting up into the same styled dress shirt and navy trousers, skimming the 75 red-flagged emails that had been sent to him in the measly hours he was allowed sleep, and dabbing the area around his eyes with enough concealer that he was able to add some mystery to the hell portal that now rented his eyebags.

Considering the meagre amount on this early morning itinerary, this process should barely take a half-hour but Kyungsoo was always rushing because he wasn’t a morning person. He fell asleep in between all the aforementioned activities and moved like a sloth on pills. 

His not-dog on the other hand was bubbling with energy. He was awake by the time that the executive had finished silently crying in the shower and kept him entertained during breakfast by his consistent sniffing of Kyungsoo’s feet as the man prepared them both some food. It was around that time that Kyungsoo made the decision to take him to work and to dump him on his PA because -- how could he leave that cute face here all alone? 

Plus he definitely didn’t have time to look for his owner today anyway. 

 

 

PAs came and went and for Kyungsoo that was exactly the process. People tended to quit quick, unable to keep up with the intensity of his schedules and the subsequent workload. But through skating by and doing the absolute minimum, Kim Minseok stayed in his post and _thrived_. He was exactly the type of person that got along with Kyungsoo because he was meaner than the executive, cleaner than the executive, and savage with a capital _S_. 

The pair arrived at the studios with Kyungsoo glued to his phone as the dog sauntered idly by him. They ran into Minseok by chance at the car-park. Kyungsoo waved him over and watched with satisfaction at the look of confusion that crossed the other man’s face. 

“So is this when we finally admit that you’re going through a crisis?” Minseok said with a tsk, after eyeing him up with the collar-less dog at his side, “Wednesday, it’s a dog. What’s for tomorrow? A gold tooth-- no, _nooo_ , how about a face tattoo?”

“Good morning to you too, Minseok.”

“Don’t sweet-talk me. Who’s the pooch?” 

It was fair to say that Kyungsoo’s vague explanation of the dog’s origins didn’t impress the PA. But Minseok was easily bribed with steamed buns and Kyungsoo promised him free lunch for the next week if he watched over him that day. 

“You’re lucky I love you,” said the PA with a sigh as he signalled for the dog who remained firmly at Kyungsoo’s side.

“You’re lucky you still have a job,” said Kyungsoo back as he urged for the animal to follow his babysitter, “Go on, doggy.”

“Yeah. Come on, dog,” urged Minseok as he clapped his hands, like a father would at a baby, “ Your daddy will come back for you later.”

Kyungsoo grimaced at the word use.

“Ew, don’t say it like that.”

“You’re the one that’s making it weird. Perv.” Minseok muttered as the dog finally gave up and approached him with slow obedient steps. The obedience was impressive -- but not as impressive as when Kyungsoo bid them both a goodbye and the dog barked in time. 

“Oooh, you’re a good dog aren’t you?” cooed the PA, considerably softer in his touch as he patted the huge dog on the head.

The dog barked again, moving his head into the man’s waist as the PA laughed fondly.

 

 

 

 

This routine continued for another two days. By then, Kyungsoo felt like he was living the beginning of those family-centric dog-films they screened on rainy Sunday afternoons. He felt the power that all dog owners felt-- that robust pride of being a _master_. And a loving one at that. Sure, he was still every bit as committed to returning the dog at the end of the week when he had a smidgeon more time, but for now, he was really enjoying having someone else at the house. Someone he could talk to without feeling too weird; someone to take care of; someone to cuddle during his excessively long marathons of _Kitchen Nightmares_.

“That’s Gordon Ramsey.” Kyungsoo said, pointing at the man on the screen as he looked at the dog who was pushed up against him tight like a comforter, “He’s boss.” 

The man on the screen continued to groan hopelessly at the shellshocked couple on screen who held their flaccid lasagna sheets up to him like peasants honouring a king.

“Legend!” yelled out Kyungsoo as his non-dog joined in with a howl before leaping on the executive and knocking off his glasses. “Hey!” The dog licked his nose affectionately and Kyungsoo laughed so hard he thought he would go blue as he was squeezed tight -- “You’re going to kill me!” 

Dog did ease his grip after that but not without clinging onto his pyjamas with his massive paws.

Kyungsoo took that moment as a selfie moment and he then sent the picture to Yixing who responded with a fib—

 

_awwwww my boys! ㅠㅠ but he’s still not my dog!!  
pls dont get arrested for dog-napping kyungsoo-ya!_

 

The man scoffed at the message as he sat on his bed with the dog comfortably lounging on his lap. Yixing wasn’t a liar even on his worse days. The fact that he was continuing to profess his innocence was certainly uncharacteristic.

But oh well. Kyungsoo _knew_ he was bullshitting. Maybe it was character development?

“He’ll crack soon,” he cooed at the dog as he wriggled into bed with the dog excitedly following suit, “This is the last time okay, Dog?” Sure he had said this two nights in a row. But he was too tired to protest and honestly, could he really say no to the dog after he so obediently sat through 3.5 hours of back-to-back cooking shows without a single bark of complaint? A binge not even his own closest friends could take?

“Night dog,” hummed Kyungsoo as he shut his eyes and sensed the animal grow still beside him.

The night deepened. 

Kyungsoo fell asleep dreaming about being in _Masterchef_ with one of the Hollywood Chris’ as a judge.

“ _This is delicious, Kyungsoo._ ” Dream-Chris said with a sleek voice as he licked the metal fingers of the fork clean, “ _You’re good._ ”

Kyungsoo gushed, growing as red as the peppers he’d used as a garnish for his signature spicy pork dish.

“ _Maybe you can show me what else you’re good at?”_ Dream-Chris offered in a suggestive but ambiguous foreign accent as Kyungsoo whipped off his apron in a swift and sexy flurry of white revealing him ready to play in his club-wear: tight-ass jeans and a rippable T-shirt. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” he says breathlessly as he slides off the magically clean worktop directly into Dream-Chris’ big arms.

“Where shall we take this?” Dream-Chris pants -- overwhelmed.

“Anywhere but the kitchen,” Kyungsoo slurs as he traces the man’s face with his hand, “Because we’re respectful.”

 

Anyway.

 

Kyungsoo’s nightly dreams were unbeatable in both thirsty content and… _regularity_. Whilst the faces changed, the setting was nearly always the same so he rarely felt compelled to wake up. Why would he when he was literally in the arms of the men of his dreams?

But morning always came and no matter which stage he was in his colourful fantasies, he was always forced to wake himself from it. 

The drowsy and familiar feeling of waking cradled Kyungsoo into a false sense of security about his upcoming morning. He mumbled profanities into his pillow as “ _Stir Fry_ ” came and beat on. As was norm, Kyungsoo rolled over and found his arms wrapping tightly over another solid lump in the bed. The lump responded by peeking from under the sheets and pulling him closer, snuffling against the skin of his neck. 

The executive let the whole thing slide until a distant smell invaded his senses. A terrible, _terrible_ , smell.

It was the smell of another man. That earthy musty smell that could only come from a man. Faintly recognising this reality, Kyungsoo groaned and pushed against the figure hard, “Get up,” he mumbled, “Get out… don’t take a hotel keycard.” He rolled back over and frowned further as he felt the man’s arms wrap over him again. The feel of his body was heavy and warm. Like a thick sheepskin in winter. 

“Chris please,” Kyungsoo whined as the alarm song continued to play, “I’ll see you tomorr—“

Kyungsoo’s eyes snapped open as the song hit the chorus. Wait a goddamn second. This wasn’t a dream anymore. There were no songs in his _dreams_. And even if there was, they wouldn’t be trap hits -- they would be sexy R &B make-out jams like -- 

_Wait a goddamn second_.

He turned over, slowly, carefully, and gasped at the sight of the stranger figure sleeping, open-mouthed into his pillow. Now fully awake, Kyungsoo began to panic at the realisation that he couldn’t place him at all. His brain couldn’t compute his face, his big body, his toned arms -- 

_PANICPANICPANICPANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Alarm bells began sounding at unbearable volumes as the faintness of the morning drew away and left Kyungsoo with the recognition that he was lying, pantless, with a naked stranger beside him in his own bed. Now Kyungsoo, he was as adventurous in the bedroom as any other vanilla-looking guy. But he had one very clear no-no when it came to sex and that was bedding people in his own bed. His home was his refuge; his safe place; no sexual pilgrimages were allowed here because he bought his silk bed sheets directly from Italy. 

Hollywood-Chris’ aside, there was no lay godly enough available on earth that would lead him to violate that rule. Nipple-piercing swear. (An internal adage between him and Yixing that will be explained later.)

Kyungsoo had no explanation for any of this.

The stranger on the bed stirred, totally at peace, even beneath the impact of Kyungsoo’s flaring nostrils. After another moment’s thought, the executive rose from the bed and moved around the bedroom, grabbing his phone, and the nearest weapon which happened to be his 1st place trophy from the _TOP CHEF_ culinary competition they had conducted at his university. His grilled octopus had saved his ass then -- and it would again now. He felt the weight of the object in his hand and took a deep serious breath. 

When he turned, the figure on the bed was sat up, wild dark hair whipped up, looking as manic as his wide star-struck eyes which regarded Kyungsoo with a disbelief that _almost_ matched his own. Almost.

For a moment they were still. The air around the room was frozen. 

Kyungsoo raised the trophy slightly and the tension snapped like a rubber band. 

“I DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BUT I’LL -- I’LL KILL YOU IF I HAVE TO!!!”

Would he? Kyungsoo’s throat grew dry. It was funny how moral questions would find you even at the worst times.

“NO! PLEASE! K--KYUNGSOO I--IT’S M--ME! IT’S M--ME!” The man on the bed flailed his large bare arms in the air before covering himself with the sheets.

Oh the sheets. The sheets that Kyungsoo loved so much that he had shielded them from any man and woman. Even his own family didn’t sleep on his sheets. 

“WHO ARE YOU!” demanded the executive, waving his phone, “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!” 

“I’M--” The stranger was panicking, his hands were buried in his hair as he struggled to name himself, lips bobbing open and closed.

Kyungsoo’s patience dissolved. “SPIT IT OUT OR I’LL USE IT! AND…” A look of undivided _horror_ collapsed on the executive’s face as he realised something he had totally missed before, “WHAT DID YOU TO… MY DOG! OH MY GOD IS THIS _JOHN WICK_? DID YOU JOHN WICK ME? OH MY GOD!!!”

Shots of the bloody action movie prompted the barely functioning executive to shuffle slightly out of the room and begin to call out to the angelic animal with his usual overly affectionate nickname of _Dog!_. 

As the frantic calls began, the man on the bed began to come around to the panic of the morning. The stranger looked around slowly, breathing hard and fast, the blurry room coming into focus and within seconds, finally, fully settled into the big room that was currently saturated with Kyungsoo’s hoarse calls of -- 

_DOG!_

_DOG!_

_DOG!_

A part of the stranger appeared to twitch into life. His nails dug into the skin of his thighs as he felt the warmth _explode_ in his heart.

“DOG!” he hollered out loud, startling Kyungsoo who was zapped into silence and returned to the room as the stranger _beamed_ at him -- “DOG!” the man repeated before breaking out into small laughter and lifting a finger to himself --“ME! I’M DOG!” 

And then the man laughed again as he lifted both hands up to his eye level, inspected them, and announced a delighted, “KYUNGSOO! IT’S ME! I’M… DOG!”

-
    
    
    **PART 2:**
    THE DOG IS NOW A MAN
    
    _ >> CANTU x aminé _  

-

To provide some necessary context to all these wild admissions, a flashback must be initiated. A jerky reverse frame; complete with an over dramatised reel away from all that had already happened. 

Take yourself back to the point in the story just after Kyungsoo’s birthday -- the part in which dog and owner first locked eyes. Now envisage that same dog backpedalling into the bushes, further down the suburban road it had wandered on, down the subway it had trotted on for hours alone, and even further back to the huge white van parked by the _CONFIDENTIAL FACILITY WITH A BARBED WIRE FENCE_ that he had escaped from. 

Well; a pseudo-escape. 

Basically he had leapt out of the van after seeing a smug-looking squirrel cross the road. 

The dog’s name was Chanyeol. And as a Dog, his attention span, alongside his capacity for complex thought were considerably diminished. These core deficiencies would explain why he had chased after the squirrel despite promising the rest of his dog friends that he would stay _absolutely_ still because they knew how nervous he was about travelling -- why he switched from chasing the squirrel to a drifting blue plastic carrier bag he’d spotted hovering high above him -- why he continued to chase a million other things from cars to cats for hours on end -- why despite knowing he was lost he refused to follow protocol of staying by a nearby lamppost and continued to amble along the unfamiliar streets like a dog with a mission -- 

Sure. By the time the hunger hit him and he realised that his legs were tiring, some feeling that he may have misread a decision or two had settled on the dog. But it _vanished_ the moment he saw Kyungsoo in the light -- and Kyungsoo let him in, and fed him, and patted his head, and called him Dog, and let him watch T.V., and cuddled him. 

He might have failed to catch the squirrel, the plastic bag, the squishy ball, the car, the ugly cat, the second squirrel, etc. but finding Kyungsoo made up for all of it. And although in reality it had only been a few days, all his memories of the _CONFIDENTIAL FACILITY WITH A BARBED WIRE FENCE_ felt completely remote, buried now beneath everything to do with Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. Certainly, this deep and sudden attachment to a stranger could’ve originated from his years of sensory and social deprivation; a realisation which should’ve reduced the intensity of his feelings. 

But as a dog, Chanyeol lived purely in the _present_ \-- in the moment -- and so he spent the last few days content that he was the happiest he had ever been with the owner-man of his _dreams_. 

And now it was all wrong because he wasn’t a dog anymore. And just to add to that disappointment, being a human again was really weird. Being naked was nowhere near as fun because it was cold and worse -- _worst_ of all, Kyungsoo was obviously really mad and as a human, his emotional capacities were nuanced enough to make him realise that the distressing “hoo--ing!” sound he was currently emitting was all of his doing. 

“YOU’RE FUCKING WITH ME AREN’T YOU!” Kyungsoo shrieked, jabbing a finger at him, “NICE TRY BUT I’M NOT FALLING FOR IT!”

“NO!” defended the ex-dog, blinking rapidly, trying to remember what it was that humans said when they wanted to purge the guilt out of them. What was the word? 

“HOW CAN YOU BE THE DOG!”

“I… I DON’T KNOW!” Chanyeol eyed the trophy in Kyungsoo’s hand. That -- looked like an instrument for _hurting_. Okay. So he was able to grapple with that association. 

But the rest? Chanyeol didn’t even know where to start. Maybe it was the hunger, but the critical thinking side of his brain still felt muddled up. To cope he had been parrotting all of Kyungsoo’s questions to himself (in a calmer voice) but emerged from his internal interrogations with little success. For example, his brain’s response to the frantic question _how can I be the dog?_ was the urge to take off his collar, scratch his ear and sit on a big cushion. 

He hated not feeling like he could be helpful. Like he could be _bad_ even. Oh god. Surely he couldn’t be _that_.

“Kyungsoo! Please! Please!” Chanyeol croaked, “You have to believe me!” 

“I’M CALLING --- SOMEONE YOU STAY RIGHT THERE!” Kyungsoo answered, planting the phone to his ear as he moved to leave the room, voice still shaking. 

Now that, Chanyeol the ex-dog could definitely comply with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fresh out of the Area 51 that was now his bedroom, Kyungsoo jabbed his fingers violently against his phone’s keypad as he sent for Yixing through speed-dial. His job demanded him to be on-call at all times so he was definitely awake. His friend answered with his usual sing-song voice and the TV executive practically screamed down the line. He stampeded through the story with a shrill voice and ended the rant with,

“NOW I HAVE A NUT IN MY HOUSE AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”

An audible exhale was emitted over the connection. “ _Wait, so you’re calling me because there’s a guy in your bedroom… who said he was your dog… did you drink a lot last night? Think Marbella 2014_.”

“This--isn’t--Marbella!” wailed Kyungsoo, rubbing his nape as he batted his head against the hardwood of his door, “Yixing, I’m seriously freaking the hell out. There’s a sexy guy in my bedroom. NAKED. Who says he was a dog--”

“ _Damn. So it’s like the plot of The Shaggy Do-- wait did you say he was sexy_?”

“No!”

“ _You did_!”

“I said he was a cute dog didn’t I! --” Kyungsoo face-palmed as he lowered his voice and murmured into the phone, ominous, _Taken-_ style, “... and yeah I admit it. You hired me a really sexy guy too. Yeah, yeah thanks. Maybe we’ll bone later, maybe we won’t. But if we do, which we might, I need to know where he’s come from because otherwise we definitely won’t! Probably! Agh--where was I!” 

This was the worst prank ever. If Yixing even thought that this would be funny then Kyungsoo swore on his life that his best friend had an injunction coming. 

“ _Kyungsoo I didn’t send him! I swear on -- on -- nipple piercing swear! NIPPLE EFFING PIERCING SWEAR_!”

The context for this very specific motto was Marbella 2014. _Club Republico_. Two shirtless friends who wanted to go a little off-the-beaten-track and did exactly that and _more_. Numerous things that would be categorised as wild occurred that night. A splendid evening of colour, recreational vices, and all classes of foreign men. After surviving that night together, Yixing and Kyungsoo swore that they would never talk about it again; with only the nipple piercings and the promise of being BFFLs over a twin tower of flaming sambucas serving as the lasting memories of that blessed night.

Admittedly, the barbarity of that evening also led to Yixing becoming the morally-upright, squeezed-butthole-of-a-man that he was today. But their legendary tale lived on. 

“Well.” There was no way that Kyungsoo could believe that Yixing was the culprit now. He was stumped. There was nobody creative enough on his contact list for this. Could it be a one-night stand going out hard on a revenge bender? Unlikely. Kyungsoo’s address was _secret_ to the point that even his own satellite navigation wasn’t allowed to know it. “Ugh Yixing…” whined the executive, “I don’t know what to do…”

“ _Well, is he dangerous?”_

“I don’t know… should I call the police?”

“ _You should… but… ”_

“Thirteen Diamonds,” Kyungsoo interjected with a sigh, “I can’t risk any sort of weird publicity story…”

Yixing emitted a few hums of thought over the line. At the mention of the show, the executive realised that he was officially late for work and felt all of his aggression evolve into a more intense version of the mental panic he went through every morning. He bid Yixing an abrupt goodbye (after reassuring him that they would meet afterwards and talk about the entire ordeal) and then re-entered the bedroom. Some part of him had marginally hoped that the tall naked man would’ve disappeared, either by his own volition or by _magic_ , but he was still there looking as guilty as he’d left him. 

“Look. I have to go to work,” Kyungsoo huffed as he returned his trophy to his desk and quickly sorted through his closet, “I’m willing to overlook… this whole thing… if you just _leave now and leave forever_...”

“L--leave?” The word was emitted as a whimper as the man on the bed startled into action, scampering to the end of the bed by burrowing through the sheets, “You’re l--leaving me here?” 

“No,” said Kyungsoo gently as he buttoned himself up, already imagining work which was considerably more aggressive than this situation if you would believe it -- “I’m leaving and you will also be leaving. Got it? _I don’t want you here_. I want to kick you out now but I don’t have the time. So… just go okay? Go and I won’t press charges.”

He left the room with a determined head shake. 

The executive really thought that he was dealing with this with more grace than he would have in the past. Clearly all the pilates sessions he’d fitted in his schedule was impinging some good in him. A wonderful side-effect considering he’d signed up to the classes for _purely_ sexual reasons. 

“Kyungsoo!” came a desperate voice from the bedroom.

“I’m gooooing!” Kyungsoo responded as he pulled his coat over him, “Leave or I’ll make you! Your choice!”

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving the house, the overtired millennial went to work, enjoyed it, hated it, had a sushi lunch, hated it some more, played online scrabble with Baekhyun -- and then he went home earlier than normal after their city received a red warning for intense rains. Although their broadcasting centre didn’t usually bother with the weather, they were holding a commissioner’s meeting at HQ that day and they were keen for their top executives to get home without getting flooded in.

The day was eventful enough that Kyungsoo only really remembered what he’d endured in the morning when his assistant asked about his dog. He answered with a very suspicious _uh…. He’s back where he belongs now…_ and a deep gulp of water. Aside from that one moment, his passionate game of scrabble between takes and endless run of content meetings kept him distracted enough that all of his memories and fears only came hurtling back the second he re-entered his home and heard the sound of his T.V. playing in the background. 

What he found once he cautiously stepped into the living room was the naked-man from this morning, now clothed in his clothes, buried in a mountain of his cushions, watching television in the dark. 

“KYUNGSOO!” Realising he had come home, the man greeted him with the biggest smile Kyungsoo had ever seen. He looked elated even in the dark -- even against the storm that was lashing and knocking rapturously on the windows from the outside. “YOU’RE HOME!”

“And… you’re …. Still…. here,” said Kyungsoo dryly, unsure whether he felt amused or horrified that the intruder was showing a complete disregard for his very clear instructions that morning. 

Similarly, he felt odd that there was nothing about this situation that was striking him with the same panic that locking eyes with strangers on public transport usually did. Maybe it was the fierceness of the storm. Or maybe it was the fact that a man’s instincts tended to identify dangers with accuracy and this stranger hadn’t pinged that radar -- unless he was planning to smother Kyungsoo in his cushion fort.

“I thought I told you to leave,” Kyungsoo continued as he flipped the light switch-on, revealing that the stranger had been watching _The Food Channel_ , possibly as a result of not knowing where the remote was. 

It was also revealed that he was clothed in one of Kyungsoo’s home-shirts and a pair of his shorts. Both were too small and were subsequently revealing. It reminded Kyungsoo of when he tried to fit his Barbies’ bikini-tops on his muscular Ken dolls. “And you’re wearing my shit too… god, you have some nerve don’t you?” he said with a short laugh, scratching his head, “I… were you really here the whole day?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol replied as he stared at the tired man before happily detailing the hours he spent crying in the bed before finally deciding to eat some food. After eating slices of cold bread he then used a sharp object to cut off his uncomfortably tight collar, found some of Kyungsoo’s clothes in the “nice-coloured-box” (the laundry box), put them on and proceeded to wait in the living room until Kyungsoo came home again. His voice dripped with the same casual tones that people used in adverts, luring Kyungsoo into a false sense of familiarity until he fully absorbed the disturbing impact of what this stranger was trying to tell him.

He stayed here the whole day; ate Kyungsoo’s food; wore Kyungsoo’s dirty clothes; and then watched all his favourite shows on his most beloved couch.

Removing his clothes and scarf and slinging them over his counter, Kyungsoo moved towards his couch and occupied the spot right beside the stranger. He took a long look at him and re-established his two key confirmations from this morning: 1. He does not know this man 2. This man was a sexy man. These two points, coupled with the right environment, think: a bar or an ex’s wedding, could easily link hands. The sexiness of said man -- could lead to him _knowing_ said man. Alas, their meet cute already had enough freakishness that Kyungsoo was sure that he could be content if they could just never see each other again.

However the same couldn’t be said for his companion who couldn’t think of anywhere else he would rather be than where he was at that moment. Especially with Kyungsoo now back at his side in the best couch within the best house. Ever. 

“... Look, buddy. Can I call you that?” began Kyungsoo. 

“Um sure. But it’s actually Chanyeol.” Introducing himself was something Chanyeol had practiced whilst he’d been at home watching T.V. He had remembered how to do it. He was actually remembering a lot of things now that he wasn’t being placed into the _INTENSE SUPERVISORY CHAMBERS_ and hooked into any biologic drips. Also… not being a dog anymore was quite invaluable to his newfound ability to think about things more clearly. 

“Chanyeol? Aw.” Putting a name to the face was bad, Kyungsoo decided. It was why he’d decided not to name _Dog_. Except, by doing so, he had really named the dog, _Dog_. It was a terrible paradox and he had to admit that he now rather missed the pup. He still couldn’t think of where it had gone but he wasn’t so far down the rabbit hole that he could believe that his dog had somehow converted itself into a man overnight. 

He had to make this clear to… Chanyeol. Somehow. Even if they wouldn’t see eye-to-eye on anything else, Kyungsoo was driven to at least obtain the exact location of Dog. “Look. _Chanyeol_. I’m not a judgy guy. I know that there are people who… how to say this… _get off_ to this stuff,” he made a vague gesture with his hands, “-- and that’s cool. You do you. But I don’t. If you’re some kinda prank that a friend… an enemy.. Or even _God_ sent me… haha! Ha. Ha. But it’s over now. I’m done with it. I’ll pay you twice what they gave you. Make that thrice. Quadriple even if you give me my dog back…”

Kyungsoo reached into his back pocket and produced his wallet, determined to extract some bus or taxi money for the other to use. It was obvious to him that someone had to be struggling to some degree in their life to inflict this sort of humiliation on themselves. All the best to their brave souls. He was more than happy to provide some more kindness -- but his efforts would be hindered by the sight of Chanyeol’s large eyes _heaving_ with tears as the executive extended the wad of notes between them. 

“Hey.” God, crying was a _no-no_. Kyungsoo’s parents were the sort that taunted babies for being too emotional. He grew up with about as much emotional capacity as a pebble. “Don’t… don’t do that…” 

The crying continued. It was everywhere. There was green stuff coming out of his nose. 

“I really w--was… d--dog,” cried Chanyeol as he hiccuped through his plea, feeling helpless in the face of Kyungsoo’s harsh sentence, “I don’t… know… how I… can p--prove… it to y--you…” 

_You can’t. It’s impossible_ , hummed Kyungsoo’s mind as he watched the man wipe his wet face a few times. The sight didn’t strike him as odd at first until he saw the same hand a few moments later and the long aged scar across Chanyeol’s palm became as eye-catching as an extra green limb. 

Kyungsoo may be emotionally crippled but his memory was pretty reliable. He remembered his beloved non-Dog and the scar he had worn proudly on his little paw. It was on the same place, on the same hand, and at the sight of it, the executive couldn’t help but pull it towards him and glare as if hoping he had somehow remembered wrong. 

“I don’t remember yet where I got it from,” sniffed Chanyeol as he let Kyungsoo peruse at the mark with fast-blinking eyes, “Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt still…” 

It was the belated answer to a casual question Kyungsoo had asked his non-dog in exactly the same spot. It felt like the weirdest deja vu ever. Letting the hand rest back on Chanyeol’s lap, Kyungsoo looked deep into the other’s eyes, trying to intrude past the tears and the puffiness, seeking out some semblance of a _lie_ in his gaze. 

There was none. It was like looking into Yixing’s angel eyes. There was not a single inkling of the usual level of bad that he spotted on men as easily as dust on a mantelpiece. But this in itself was bad because admitting that Chanyeol _may_ be telling the truth also required admitting to a certain level of… madness. Surely.

Dogs just didn’t become _men_. This was not a PG Sunday family movie. Kyungsoo’s life was a 15 at best. 

“I can’t believe what you’re saying,” whispered Kyungsoo as he shook his head, raising his hands to his head, “It’s impossible…”

“Please,” pleaded Chanyeol in return, “If there’s anything I can do to persuade you then tell me-- wait! Wait! You took a picture right?” 

Chanyeol desperately urged for Kyungsoo to look for the selfie they had taken and the executive complied with some hesitation. He found it and felt his chest tighten as he looked up from the picture and saw the man adopting exactly the same smiley pose as the dog. It was weird how similar it looked -- even with the dog now replaced by a man. The eyes were the same. That was the key part. It was the ult smacker to his current theory that this was all just a terrible delusion brought on by work exhaustion.

“This is insane,” Kyungsoo managed as a part of him admitted defeat to Chanyeol for the first time. 

“Do you believe me now?” asked Chanyeol hopefully.

“60-40,” Kyungsoo answered as he privately admitted it for the second time.

“Is that… good?”

Kyungsoo groaned as he buried his head into his hands. “Not for me.” 

A third occurrence would’ve probably followed had Yixing not suddenly appeared in the doorway, serial-killer style, his shadowy figure illuminated by a sharp lightning strike, fully startling the pair off the couch and into a period of intense _screaming_. 

 

 

“... Kyungsoo! I’m here for dinn--”

 

“I’LL SAVE YOU KYUNGSOO!”

 

_Thud._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol was _protective_. Kyungsoo had never had anyone protect him before because he’d never really needed it. He might be on the smaller side compared to the real intimidating brawlers out there-- but he wasn’t the type to back down, especially with a few gimlet shots in him. 

There was probably a part of him that had always thought that having someone defend him would severely wound his pride. But seeing Chanyeol defy gravity and tackle his best friend into the floor with a manic tribal cry… was _hot_. Not the hard-dick kind. The hard- _heart_ kind. He felt his skin flush red as he considered that even though the tall stranger was probably largely off his rocket, he would still put Kyungsoo _first_. 

Not overlooking the fact that the Dog had done the same for him at the corner store. 

“KYUNGSOO!” Yixing shrieked as he rolled on the floor, crushed beneath the weight of the considerably bigger man, “HEEEEEEELP!”

“Chanyeol!” The plea animated Kyungsoo into action as he stumbled towards the chaos and gripped at Chanyeol’s collar, “Stop! It’s okay! I know him!” Enough to give him a key to his home. Best friend privileges. 

Ever the Dog, Chanyeol obeyed the order and quickly returned to his feet, sweaty. He turned to Kyungsoo with furrowed eyebrows before breaking out into a delighted expression as he realised that his man-owner was totally unharmed. 

“Look at that,” Kyungsoo sighed as he reached up and swiped his palm at Chanyeol’s healthy gleaming biceps, “You’re all sweaty now…”

Wow. It was like a sugar glaze on a tray cake. Sweet. Sticky-- 

“KYUNGSOO!” Yixing screeched from the floor.

“... _hey_ , Yixing. Hey. You okay?” The executive’s dark eyes returned to his friend as he offered him a hand and pulled him from the floor. It was obvious that the surprise assault had upset Yixing-- but Chanyeol wasn’t showing any signs of remorse. If anything, the hostility between the two seemed augmented with Chanyeol narrowing his eyes at Yixing in the same way that a predator would vilify a prey that escaped a trap.

“I’m fine.” Yixing huffed, brushing down the creases off his clothes as he stared at Chanyeol once more, “I guess… this is the problem you were talking about this morning?”

“Who are you calling _problem_!” Chanyeol hollered, stepping across and prompting Kyungsoo to consciously occupy the narrow space between him and a heavily breathing Yixing -- “KYUNGSOO CALLED ME CUTE _AND_ SEXY!”

“What!” Indignant, the executive looked up at the taller man with parted lips, “You… heard that?”

Chanyeol grinned down at him. 

“Course I did! My hearing’s great!” 

_Just like a dog’s_ , Kyungsoo’s mind drawled as he gulped nervously. 

“I’m so confused,” Yixing howled as he threw his hands in the air and took a step away from the pair, “... I thought you said you’d get rid of him? And now he’s still here? And…” His eyes traced the man’s frame: from the down, up. “He’s wearing your clothes now too?” 

“That’s not on me. I was at work all day,” proclaimed Kyungsoo before scratching his head and taking a quick moment to re-consider the situation. 

He hadn’t been given enough time to fully process Chanyeol’s confession (and his semi-acceptance of it) yet -- which meant that anything that followed, the stranger’s ejection from his home included, had no choice but to remain on hold. And that was a hard pill to swallow for a man who hated to be inconvenienced in any way. Especially by men; no -- _especially_ by men he hadn’t slept with.

“Kyungsoo.” Yixing offered the embattled T.V. executive an encouraging smile before gesturing towards his kitchen, “Why don’t we all have a good talk about this over some coffee? And… uh… sir?” 

The taller man continued to glare fiercely at him. 

“Sir? You too. Let’s start over.” 

Chanyeol showed no visible signs of softening until Kyungsoo tossed him a defeated look and stated, “Yes, let’s do that. Come on Chanyeol.”

“Okay Kyungsoo,” the man parroted with a sudden smile as he nodded his head, “Anything you say.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coffee was brewed as the storm continued to intensify behind their four walls, occasionally rattling the roof. Chanyeol was the most affected by it, his eyes fixed to either the trembling ceiling or the small kitchen window that the wind wailed against. It wasn’t easy to discuss anything when the six-foot something man was trembling like a phone on vibrate, his knees knocking against the wooden table and causing tremors that caused their coffee cups to wiggle against the surface.

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asked uneasily as he eyed the man who looked at him with a plainly upset expression, “You okay?”

The tall man nodded in reassurance despite the grimace curling his lips as he continued to look anxiously around the room. Yixing sipped his coffee loudly, highlighting the deafening awkwardness in the room before Kyungsoo finally broke the silence.

“....I guess I should start you off at the beginning?” 

And start them off he did, diving straight into the story that he had smacked Yixing with in that early morning but with the context of exactly how he’d found the dog and the strange occurrences that came after. He even walked back into his bedroom and with Chanyeol’s guidance, retrieved the collar he’d found on the dog during their initial meeting. The useless item appeared busted so it was unable to speak like before. 

The discussion ended but Yixing didn’t seem very convinced; hence why Kyungsoo held off on expressing the K.O. point of his own growing belief in Chanyeol, conscious that as much as he wanted him to believe, he didn’t want to _kill_ the man with the story.

“So,” Kyungsoo folded his arms over his chest as he locked eyes with a far more settled Chanyeol, “That’s where we are.” 

“That’s all… _interesting_. Um.” Yixing worked as a risk analyst for a top international bank. Not only did that make him the most handsome killjoy in the red room, it also meant that he knew how to weigh out a complex and irresponsible situation out so that it resulted in the best outcome. This was why Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate when it came to sharing (and over-sharing) things with him because try as he might, a lot of his life did end up complex and more commonly, _irresponsible_. 

The fact that Yixing appeared stumped by this whole ordeal was a little concerning considering he literally spent his life dealing within the corporate shit-silo. “Chanyeol?” The man with the dimples offered the other a friendly smile from across the table, “Care to weigh in on this? I’d like to hear what you have to say… about….” 

“About being a dog-turned-man,” said Chanyeol.

Yixing nodded. “Please.”

“Uh. It’s much cooler being a dog I think,” Chanyeol said, looking very thoughtful as his bright eyes lifted to the ceiling, “But I like being a human again. It’s nice being able to talk to people.” _Kyungsoo_. 

“.... and people noticing you more.” 

_Kyungsoo_. 

“... and staying in a human home…” 

_Kyungsoo’s human home_.

“Wait,” Kyungsoo arched an eyebrow as he leaned towards the table, “A human… _again_?”

“So this wasn’t some were-dog situation?” Yixing asked.

“I thought that too,” affirmed the executive.

Acknowledging the words with a serious nod, Yixing gazed at the collar on the table and stared at the three words inscribed in the tough material. “ _If_ you’re telling the truth Chanyeol then everything must have something to do with this,” he cast a long look at the other man, “Can you tell us anything about it?” 

Considering that the collar had been the very first thing he’d removed from himself after regaining control of his very large human hands, it would be fair to conclude that some part of dog-Chanyeol hadn’t been a fan of the object. Staring at it now, free from its bondage, Chanyeol felt some of the memories he’d lost about his life _flutter_. Just a flutter. Similar to the way a fast squirrel used to dart his way - its solid body reduced to a glimpse of watery grey. He was still getting used to it all so bridging the gaps between his memories was proving a challenge.

But he was certain of one thing. 

“I can’t remember much,” began Chanyeol as he tucked his hands under his armpits, rocking against the back of his chair, “But I know… that I don’t want to go back.”

“Well why not?” Yixing asked, feeling like they were getting somewhere -- not fully comprehending that Chanyeol’s capacity for memory recall was limited to the present moment and the few seconds that preceded it, “Isn’t it your home?” 

“It’s not.” Chanyeol answered, looking over at Kyungsoo, “I’m sure of that.” 

“Shit.” The executive interrupted, rubbing his temple against a fist as he announced a passionate, “Hey. Yixing. What if this is some-- _The Fly_ level shit, you know?” His attention turned towards Chanyeol who perked up instantly, “Chanyeol. Did some scientist lead you to his warehouse and get you to go into his _teleport machine_? It’s okay. This is a safe place. You can tell us anything…” 

Chanyeol considered it seriously, which was pointless as he had no idea about the movie reference. “Uh. I can’t really remember enough to say it happened or it didn’t… but I know that I don’t ever want to go back there.” 

The direction that the conversation was heading carried the strong suggestion that Chanyeol was steering the pair to wholly accept his presence. Two key factors about the men would come into central play here: one, that Yixing was a very helpful person that cared supremely about Kyungsoo and his safety -- and the second was that Kyungsoo continued to find the stranger indescribably _attractive_. 

How could he not? In the kitchen light, the man’s firm muscular body was well showcased, alongside his strong but _soft_ facial features. Tall cheeks. Deep dimples. He was better than any Ken-doll that Kyungsoo ever owned that’s for sure.

“But you can’t stay here either,” Yixing explained in a gentle tone “Kyungsoo’s… well, he’s _incapable_ of helping people.” It was a statement of fact. Not to say that Kyungsoo wasn’t caring because he was-- but he was a very busy guy. “But if you come with me, I’m sure I can find you the right people…” 

Chanyeol frowned before shaking his head determinedly.

“No! I want to stay here with Kyungsoo!” 

“But,” Yixing grimaced as he pressed his lips together, “Consider--”

“No.” The stranger was adamant; his eyes grew dark as he locked eyes with Kyungsoo who practically choked into his coffee cup, “I want to stay here.” And then the intensity softened into a smile, “Please.” 

“Well, I guess it’s up to Kyungsoo.” The situation was too confusing for the analyst. By now he was expecting Kyungsoo to be planting a red flag in his corner -- defending his own interests and rights with limited cares for how much he would make the stranger cry. But the executive was silent and proving hard to read. This tended to mean only one thing in Kyungsoo’s case: and that was that he was on the verge of making an irresponsible decision.

“Eh…” was the offered answer by the executive in question as he shrugged his shoulders, “A few days won’t hurt right?” 

“What?” Yixing gasped.

“What!” Chanyeol said in joy, “Really?”

Kyungsoo, who was still busy admiring the stranger’s broad shoulders, shrugged in affirmation. 

Yixing’s pressing concern now was that no details had been agreed on regarding what Chanyeol’s stay actually meant. But, conscious of how overwhelmed they all were, Yixing evaded more intrusive questioning and emphasised that he would be willing to help both his friend and his visitor as much as possible instead.

“I’ll dig around,” he told Kyungsoo as they stood by the door of the apartment.“I know some P.Is, some net geeks. You know the type. I’ll get his details and dig around. What do you think. Can you _really_ watch over him for a bit?”

Kyungsoo shrugged as he mumbled something that sounded like an agreement. 

“Sure. I kinda feel sorry for him.” Kyungsoo paused then, raising an eyebrow at Yixing, “So you believe him?”

“Heck yeah!” Yixing answered, before using his fingers to run through the various points he’d gathered to reach that conclusion. “I’ve done governmental projects, Kyungsoo. I KNOW this type of stuff goes down. And _Caring Intelligent Animals_? It didn’t occur to you? The initials!! It spells out [REDACTED]* What if we’re in this, Kyungsoo? We could have the secret service watching our every move right now. And… if we’re already in the poo, what do I always say?”

“Keep swimming through.” Kyungsoo echoed half-heartedly after a quiet pause.

Yixing nodded his head with a huff. “Keep swimming through.” 

The motto was really all sides of wrong but Kyungsoo didn’t want to kill Yixing’s vibe any more than he already does. His theory sounded very far-fetched too. Whilst he understood that Chanyeol may have been the product of some scientific project gone wrong, he couldn’t imagine that it would be _that_ exciting. It was probably just some retired-biologist grandma who wanted to live with puppies.

“Exactly,” the analyst smiled, “so let’s help him regain his memories. Maybe we can help him more after that.”

“Got it.” Kyungsoo said.

“So… you have to _care_ for him. Not sleep with him… okay?”

“What!” Kyungsoo gasped, a look of total horror on his face as he took full offence. Probably too much offence to be convincing Yixing who knew him like he knew the ASEAN digital stock market. “... I’d _never_.”

“Just checking,” Yixing said as he gave his friend an extra friendly punch on the shoulder, “I just don’t want it to get weird whilst we try and help him, you know?”

Damn. Kyungsoo didn’t even think about that. He sighed partially in defeat.

“I wouldn’t… I wasn’t even _thinking_ about it Yixing. Honest.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” 

The door was shut a few minutes after. Kyungsoo sighed again in relief, happy to be given the freedom to sin again as he headed to the kitchen after recognising that Chanyeol hadn’t stayed in the living room. The lights in the kitchen were still on but the room was eerily empty. As the thunder resounded from the outside, the table rattled, surprising him. 

He crouched down to the floor and pulled up the tablecloth with a curious hum. He found a six-foot Chanyeol tucked underneath with his knees hugged tight to his chest. One of his eyes were closed-- but at the sight of Kyungsoo, his lips broke out into the same smile that the executive had been treated to for hours.

“Oh hi.” Chanyeol said.

“Hey.” Kyungsoo began before looking around the limited table space. He understood that the stranger really didn’t like storms but he was far too big to be under the table. “You want to come out… or something?” 

“Uh. Okay.” 

They didn’t speak much as Kyungsoo made a quick dinner of tacos with fresh beef filling. Chanyeol was enchanted and watched him, making comments of how it reminded him of the T.V. episodes he had watched in the afternoon. He described the chefs he’d seen using their physical features ( _blonde haired man_ , _woman with a funny accent_ ). But after Kyungsoo offered to cook him a set, Chanyeol admitted that human food wasn’t settling in his stomach all that well yet so he opted for a bowl of the crunchy dog food which he ate like popcorn. 

Strangely, it wasn’t as weird as it probably sounded. He supposed they were both too tired to restart what had been a very tense and odd evening. But after Kyungsoo told his new boarder that he was ready for bed, and he found himself alone in his room, his quiet thoughts roused into a chorus of indignant criticisms. What the fuck had he just done accepting this into his life? Wasn’t he too busy for two-shower days? Now he had a… dog-turned-man too? Why did he need to adopt a weird-man dog when he could just pop down the pet-shop tomorrow and adopt a real dog? 

He walked back into the living room with every intention of talking to Chanyeol about the situation but the tall man had fallen asleep. Under the kitchen table. Again, he was far too big for it so his long legs poked out of one end of the table, resembling the dead witch from Wizard of Oz. 

He looked so peaceful in his sleep that Kyungsoo couldn’t bear to wake him. So he retired in his own bed, determined that the next day some clear and commendable plan would pop into his brain.

There was no way that Chanyeol was staying with him. Yes. He was going to kick him out in the morning before this became any more of a situation than it already was. It was for the best. No more take-backs. 

His Mama didn’t raise no clingy baby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“SO.”

Kyungsoo flung his walk-in closet door open and pulled some of the unused pieces he’d been hoarding that were folded neatly on the top shelf. “… here’s a hoodie that might fit you. I used to wear really big hoodies— boyfriend sized you know? Ha. Ha.” Kyungsoo threw the item at Chanyeol as he also pulled out a matching pair of baggy sweats and a fresh pair of boxer shorts. 

The tall man accepted the items with a cheery, “Okay!” 

“And… I’ll get you a temporary I.D. badge once we’re at the studio. Just don’t wander off. Stay by my side the whole time okay?” Kyungsoo instructed as he grabbed a black graphic T-shirt and tossed it over. 

“Okay!” The T-shirt landed over Chanyeol’s head but beneath it his muffled words were still audible, “But… will Minseok be okay watching me again?”

 

_Again._

 

Again -- was that word that Chanyeol had used in the morning which had Kyungsoo reeling back from the decisions he’d made at the tail end of the previous night. They had seen each other in the living room after Kyungsoo’s usual 5:30 am wake-up call and after a brief mumbled greeting, Chanyeol posed a question to the executive that stunned him like an americano shot right to the artery. 

“Can you take me to work _again_ today?”

“Huh?” 

“To work. I don’t like staying here on my own… I can help Minseok again. He always seems busy.”

“ _Again_?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said, beaming as he offered Kyungsoo his morning cup of coffee, fresh and tailor made, “Again.” 

Kyungsoo was a fighter. Sure; he’d throw it down whenever. But he wasn’t going to war with destiny when it was clear that she wanted him to take care of Chanyeol and his hot body. So, with the perfect coffee settling well in his stomach, he came to the decision to overrule his own decisions and bring Chanyeol along. With some thought, he realised that taking along his little house problem to work was probably a smart thing to do as at least he wouldn’t have to wonder all day about what he was up to.

Plus he couldn’t wait to tell Minseok about the extra work he would now have to handle. 

Chanyeol was thrilled about all of it of course. He slipped into the much comfier clothes and hopped into Kyungsoo’s car in a totally practiced away. He even slipped into the backseat— just like Dog used to -- and being told by Kyungsoo that he could sit at the front delighted the man even more.

“Woah!” Chanyeol grinned as he watched Kyungsoo put his seatbelt on and promptly copied him. He placed his hands over the dashboard where he felt the heater tickle his fingers with warm air. The sensations were amazing him and it was obvious.

“So do you have a song genre you like or??” Kyungsoo turned up the volume dials.

“Um,” Chanyeol drew a blank as he pondered over the matter very seriously-- but once he breathed through the question, a familiar tune entered his head and he hummed it for Kyungsoo. It was a tune he must have heard a lot back at the _CONFIDENTIAL FACILITY WITH A BARBED WIRE FENCE_. 

Kyungsoo listened and then laughed a lot. “Chanyeol,” he said with feigned annoyance, “That’s the theme to _Thirteen Diamonds_. C’mon, let me teach you about _proper_ music…” 

And this was the origin story of how Chanyeol learned the words to ‘ _My Boo_ ’ by Usher and Alicia Keys -- and also how he came to realise that his human self was blessed with a spectacular memory bank. The sort that could pick up on full song lyrics after three listens!

Three because Kyungsoo repeated the song three times over the course of their drive to push the argument home that this song was the best ever made. Period.

“I love this song. I want someone to sing it to me,” muttered Kyungsoo as he parked the car in his studio spot. “Can you sing Chanyeol?” he asked the man as he then turned red in his seat and stuttered,

“Umm.. not sure I don’t think I’ve tried.”

“Oh. Well, don’t sing around me. I love men who sing,” chuckled Kyungsoo as he gave him a playful shove, “If you sung, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you-- and we can’t have that, can we? Ha, ha!”

No they couldn’t. Kyungsoo closed his side of the door and puffed out a long breath. Darn. He couldn’t slip up like that again. He really had to try and keep it in otherwise he was never going to survive until Yixing came through with a solution. 

It didn’t help that My Boo was his top makeout jam. Wow. Maybe that was it. 

Coming to the decision that he was never going to play that song in the car in Chanyeol’s presence again, Kyungsoo forced a smile at the tall man’s direction as he emerged from the car appearing as thrilled as ever.

“You ready? Okay. So just stay close. And if you see anyone famous, don’t weird out. Really. Trust me. They’re not that special.” 

Kyungsoo continued to speak — oblivious to the suspicious way that Chanyeol was practicing the lyrics to _My Boo_ beneath his breath whilst wondering if there was a way he could learn the art of singing if it so happened that he couldn’t keep a tune.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The broadcast station was immensely busy at the start of the office day. Kyungsoo tottered in, too accustomed to the circus of it all, closely followed by Chanyeol who definitely wasn’t. No eyelids were batted after Kyungsoo snuck Chanyeol in through the security doors using one I.D because the cute guard was a poker friend.

The elevator they snuck into was stuffed with people. Everyone chatted loudly and shamelessly. By the time they reached Kyungsoo’s floor, Minseok was already present to meet him at the doors. He saluted Kyungsoo with a mock grin, a flat white and a—

“You’re late for your show meet with Jongdae. Baekhyun’s already there annoying him so you might want to hurry.” He paused and regarded the smiling man looming right over Kyungsoo. “Uh,” Minseok narrowed his eyes sternly, “Sir? Are you lost? This is the production floor for _Thirteen Diamonds—_ ”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo snapped out of his thoughts as he jerked a thumb at Chanyeol’s way. “Uh, Minseok. This is... Chanyeol. He’s a... er... a long story. Oh!”

Grabbing the taller man by the arm, he pulled him across and shoved him in Minseok’s direction with a bright grin.

“And he’s YOUR responsibility! I’m tasking you with him today. He needs new clothes— a good haircut -- a full day at the company spa. You know.”

“Uh,” Minseok’s lips were curled, “Taking care of your friends isn’t a part of my job.”

“Yes. But your job is also the job that I give you. Today? Chanyeol is your job. So here. Chanyeol. Minseok. Have fun. Become best friends, okay?”

“Okay!” chirped Chanyeol as he directed his smile from the executive to his assistant who looked as puzzled as ever. 

“Right. I’m off to my worst nightmare. Wish me luck!” Kyungsoo bid the pair a goodbye as he walked off and headed to the departmental meeting rooms. After a few steps he looked back and noticed the pair interacting with each other. Minseok was on his tippy toes and holding Chanyeol’s face in between his hands.

“You look familiar, dude. What the fuck.” Minseok hummed as he squeezed Chanyeol’s adorable cheeks together.

“I was a dog,” admitted Chanyeol as the man’s eyes widened.

“Wait, huh?”

Minseok was beyond shocked. It was only then that Chanyeol remembered that one of the rules he had discussed with Kyungsoo that morning at the living room was that he was going to refrain from saying anything related to his previous life as a pup. They had even purposed a whole fake life story together. But now that he was flustered, he couldn’t exactly remember everything. He was the son of a teacher. Or was _he_ the teacher? 

_Oh no_. 

The tall man expected the worst meaning a very similar reaction to Yixing’s from the previous night, but instead he found his arm being taken by Kyungsoo’s assistant as he guided him down the long studio corridor.

“Is that sooooo? Tell me more, handsome!”

 

 

 

— 

 

 

Back at the departmental meeting and Kyungsoo found himself half melting off his chair in boredom as the eternally smiling manager Kim Jongdae skimmed through Thirteen Diamonds’ stellar accolades and ratings. His co- executive producer, Baekhyun, was delighted and received the news over a set of golden pastries. Kyungsoo shot him a glare as flecks of the pastry ended up on his side of the table as Baekhyun and the manager laughed at another one of the many genius things Baekhyun had done randomly as a host.

“That part... that...” Jongdae wiped his forehead with a laugh as he wheezed through the story, “with the man who was scared of flying... and you made him bungee.. and he.. and he...”

“Chucked. Everywhere.” Baekhyun completed, also giggling as his eyes filled with tears, “One of the funniest ever.”

“It went viral for hours. Hashtag Thirteen Diamonds. Hashtag ChuckForLove.” 

The pair laughed some more. Kyungsoo, who had to deal with all of the paperwork and the passive aggressiveness from housekeeping regarding the incident, was not as impressed and regarded the two with dark eyes before muttering,

“So Jongdae. Is this all of it? I’ve got paperwork as thick as Baekhyun to get through.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun flicked him on the head, “Stop being an asshole.”

“Only when you stop being an ass.”

“That doesn’t even make _sense_.”

“Actually!” Jongdae energetically interrupted, “I have another _huge_ announcement to tell you. I’ve been chatting with the higher-ups and they’ve come up with an idea that could establish Thirteen Diamonds as the reality show of a generation!” He cleared his throat dramatically before holding his hand up and spreading the title out with his two hands,

“Thirteen Diamonds: the live episode!”

From then on, the rest of the meeting became an impromptu brainstorm on this pending disaster of a show event. For Kyungsoo, half the success of the show was down to how effectively the editing team he supervised could prompt the comedy. They could make even the most tear jerking moments the butt of the jokes. Live shows were a risk and he didn’t see the point in taking one when they were already so successful. In contrast, his co-producer was far more enthusiastic and became the principal source of the new ideas they had— from staging a parody of quiz shows to live challenges that involved live audience members or people on the street.

“Three months. They want this organised then to hit the weekend holiday spike.” Jongdae said as if it was the easiest thing in the world, “Is that doable?” 

This sounded like an awful lot of work— for something he didn’t agree with. Kyungsoo acknowledged that he was powerless and promised Jongdae that it would be done.

“Sure.” 

“That’s the spirit, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said with a big smile as he planted his arms around his co-producer who huffed at him with a frown. 

Kyungsoo walked out of the meeting feeling predictably foul and found that he was only cheered up through the notion that this was something he could freely complain about with Minseok. He could already hear the assistant’s whines and cries of “why didn’t you stand up for us and our rights?” which was his favourite go-to when it came to complaining. 

Spending the rest of his work afternoon completing his paperwork and his daily perusing through the online toy and figure sales, Kyungsoo looked up with profound interest when Minseok turned up at his office looking particularly glowy. Clearly their corporate discount at the city baths and spas had been put to good use today as he pulled a figure from behind the door and announced a grand,

“Presenting... CHANYEOL!” 

It was like the second half of a makeover show. 

Gone was the thick wild untamed hair that reminded Kyungsoo of the haircut of his first high school crush -- replaced now by a decent modern perm that reminded Kyungsoo of his first work crush. Chanyeol also wore clothes his size: a casual fitted white tee, jeans and large black sneakers. And to top it all of, there emerged a very pretty face with pointed ears and the same terrific smile that greeted Kyungsoo tirelessly no matter the time of day. 

The junior executive felt totally floored. Now he wasn’t just hot. He was _cute_ too. 

Great. 

“Chanyeol. Aw! Look! He’s speechless,” Minseok howled as he batted the tall man in the middle.

Kyungsoo blinked back into the moment and rolled his eyes. “I hope he didn’t annoy you too much,” he chided.

“He didn’t.” Minseok said.

“I was talking to Chanyeol,” said Kyungsoo dryly before standing up and beckoning for them to come closer— if only to admire the stranger’s physique even further. It really was something to marvel at. He was so _firm_ ; like a well-roasted -- “Okay I’ll admit it Minseok. You did a good job. And on time too!”

“Well, we would’ve probably spent longer at the spa if Chanyeol wasn’t pleading to get back to you,” Minseok complained, “He remembered that you had a busy block after this hour so he wanted to squeeze in the reveal before then.”

“What?” Kyungsoo questioned, looking up and melting shamelessly beneath the warmth of Chanyeol’s big eyes, “You remembered my meeting times?”

“Sure,” affirmed Chanyeol, “Minseok gave me your calendar... I think I can remember things really well!” 

“He really can,” Minseok supported.

There he went again. Playing with Kyungsoo’s fragile heart just as mercilessly as Dog once had. Kyungsoo rewarded Chanyeol with a smile before the tall man broke the gentle silence with,

“Oh. Kyungsoo? Um. Minseok knows about the dog-situation.”

The executive’s eyes widened. “You TOLD him?”

“Yeah,” said Chanyeol looking guilty.

“I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me!” cried Minseok with a pout.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you were going to believe me or not,” muttered the executive as he looked at his assistant.

“Seriously?” huffed Minseok as he pointed at finger at Chanyeol’s face, “Look at this guy!! He looks EXACTLY like Dog.”

“I know!” Kyungsoo affirmed as the pair found their tense expressions softening as they laughed together.

“Crazier things have happened Kyungsoo,” said Minseok mysteriously, “Stay a few more years on T.V and you’ll see for yourself.”

“Can’t be crazier than this.” Kyungsoo said, still unable to take his eyes off Chanyeol as the tall man looked around his office with an awed expression. 

“Can’t get cuter than this either,” Minseok gushed, “Looks like someone blessed you, Kyungsoo. Which saint did you pray to? I need the exact name please.”

This was typical Minseok. The executive rolled his eyes before mouthing “You wish” at the other’s direction before looking back at Chanyeol and contemplating whether it was time to start seeing all of this as a blessing and not an obstruction. 

Maybe it truly was -- _raining men_.

 

 

 

 

 

Their first full day together as two simple working men ended. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol went home and shortly after entering the door, they came to the discovery that Chanyeol was having a violent skin reaction to the fabric of his new clothes.

“HOW CAN ANYONE BE ALLERGIC TO DENIM!!!” Kyungsoo yelled, flustered as he peeled the jeans off Chanyeol’s skin -- flapping around in panic at the sight of his sore muscular thighs and the tears that were streaming down the tall man’s face, “DON’T CRY CHANYEOL… I’LL JUST… WHY DON’T YOU COVER UP FOR A SEC AND I’LL FIND SOMETHING IN MY MEDICINE CABINET!”

He threw him one of his blankets and then raided his cabinet.

When Kyungsoo returned, Chanyeol was settled and watching T.V. His skin was already much better and he was tucked in serenely with the blanket embraced around him. 

“I think it’s your clothes,” murmured Chanyeol as Kyungsoo fetched them both a cup of coffee and they sat across the T.V. on his couch together.

“No it can’t be. I wash mine really well,” sighed Kyungsoo as he reached for the discarded pieces of clothing to inspect their material, “Maybe it’s these--”

“No. I mean. I like _your_ clothes. Clothes that you wear. That’s why I’m not getting upset when I wear your clothes.” Chanyeol explained somewhat shyly as Kyungsoo threw him a resolute look.

“What? That doesn’t make sense though.”

But Chanyeol was right. They dressed him in another matching set of Kyungsoo’s limited oversized collection and found that he was perfectly comfortable. Kyungsoo reasoned that Chanyeol’s body must still be getting suited and booted to that of a human. It was similar to his body’s response to human food. Whilst Chanyeol continued to attempt eating with food as simple as mushroom soup, he still found the items largely inedible and preferred the familiarity of the dog food. But he was proving himself to be a sweet-tooth as apparently Minseok had given him candy bars and those had been nice to eat. He also really liked coffee.

“You can’t just wear my clothes.” Kyungsoo said, scratching his head as he flopped around in the new clothes that Minseok had bought, “But maybe if I wear them first… you’ll get used to them quicker?”

Chanyeol watched him and nodded enthusiastically. “Sounds good,” he said with a mouth full of dog chomp.

“Good… then after… I’ll teach you how to brush your teeth.” 

They prepared for bed together. Kyungsoo found another spare travel toothbrush and pulled Chanyeol into his guest bathroom. They had gone through the routine that morning which meant that Chanyeol could _technically_ remember how to do it but he was happy to spend as much time with the executive as possible so he kept quiet. 

“... easyasthatyeah?” Kyungsoo huffed with his mouth full of foam.

Chanyeol looked down at him with fond eyes, unable to believe just how cute Kyungsoo looked here with his fully bare face and mouth all milky with soap. He copied the smaller man’s brushing technique as best as he could and bared his teeth for the other to inspect. 

Kyungsoo reached up onto his tiptoes and secured Chanyeol’s chin with his left hand. He peered into the other’s mouth -- and then allowed his gaze to wonder at his shiny lips -- and then back up at his eyes. If it had been any other man then Kyungsoo envisaged that this moment would only dip one direction -- and that was with pairs of lips connecting, cotton pyjamas creasing, as heads and bodies bump and slide against the cold ceramic of his pearly white bathroom sink. It was one of those moments. The sort that was claimable and liberated from a moral tally: a _had to happen_ sort of moment.

But it didn’t happen and Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he was relieved or upset when Chanyeol’s face suddenly broke out into a smile thereby offering him the rightful pause to land back on his heels. 

“I think… we need to make your bed… and establish some house rules,” Kyungsoo said with a gulp as he turned to the door.

“Okay!” said Chanyeol as oblivious as ever as the executive walked out of the bathroom massaging his heavily flushing cheeks.

 

 

 

“Those are my favourites. The ballerinas and ballerinos?” Kyungsoo hovered a finger over the top shelf of his glass case of figurines, “I got them at my friend’s moving-away sale when I was a kid. They’re pretty aren’t they?”

“Sure.” 

It was the typical reaction that Kyungsoo had expected from anyone he showed his most prized personal possessions. Except it wasn’t. Chanyeol was _genuinely_ excited and appeared to have endless questions about the various tidbits that caught his eye within the glass cabinet. And there were _lots_. Kyungsoo, who had never had the opportunity to talk about them before, found it easy to lose himself in the discussion and before long they were sat together on the heated carpet, looking up at the cabinet together, holding some of the figures with them as Kyungsoo shared a funny anecdote about his childhood.

“... so he left me. But at least I got this!” Kyungsoo shook the hand painted horse figurine with a proud smile.

Across him, Chanyeol looked stricken. “But Kyungsoo,” he began, “That’s a _sad_ story.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asked, narrowing his eyes at the horse as he was suddenly transported back to the memory of how his eyes had filled up with tears when his first boyfriend had placed the horse into his hands the first time -- and last time before he left with his parents for abroad that same day. “I guess so,” the memory disappeared as the smile re-appeared on his lips, “But he made me this. And I liked him a lot. So I’ve never felt sad whenever I looked at it.”

“Good,” Chanyeol answered as he held up the boy shepherd in his hand, “So which boyfriend gave you this?”

“Yixing-- and no, he’s not my boyfriend. No. The Shepherd Boy figures are a part of a set he’s collecting for me. I have three now. They’re nice aren’t they?” 

“They are.” 

Chanyeol lowered it to the floor. He had arranged them neatly across him just as Kyungsoo had placed them. It showed a level of respect that the executive hoped he would keep for the rest of the room he was entrusting him with.

“So… I guess this is the room. There’s nothing much to say. Just keep the figurines safe, keep the space tidy, and we’ll get along just fine.” 

“I will!” Chanyeol pledged with a big smile as he looked at Kyungsoo, “... I don’t know what to say to you Kyungsoo. You’re being so nice to me. You must have helped so many people before me.” 

“Um. Not really.” 

Kyungsoo couldn’t even name one. 

“Oh. So is there a reason why you’re helping me so much this time?” Chanyeol questioned as he looked up at the other with a smile. 

The honest part of Kyungsoo’s brain had a very clear motivation for all of this: _SEX SEX SEX SEX HOT SEX WITH HOT MAN_ but after Yixing’s advice, and their lost moment at the bathroom, and just the effects of actually spending some face time with Chanyeol, the man felt that an even stronger motivation had taken over him. One that he wasn’t sure how to define yet.

(Spoiler: it was the motivation to help another person in need. But he would resolve all these internal issues later on.)

“I’m just here so Yixing can actually help you,” said Kyungsoo as he returned the smile, “and I’m sure he’ll be back with a solution in no time. For now--!” 

The executive sprung to his feet and planted his hands on his waist. 

“We have to figure out a way to move this cabinet away from the door so you can get in and out easier.” Humming as he turned away and thought about vague things related to physics and elevation, Kyungsoo was just on the verge of a scientific revelation when he heard the sound of a grunt from behind him.

And then the scraping of wood against carpet.

“CHANYEOL!”

“Y--YEP?”

“STOP YOU’LL HURT YOURSELF!”

“NOPE! NOT AT ALL!” The tall man beamed looking thoroughly unbothered as he managed to push the large cabinet -- on his own -- a few steps to the left. He’d even accomplished the chore without tipping over any of the figurines. 

It was a definite show of strength and Chanyeol fully intended it to be.

“Are you… strong?” Kyungsoo managed after locking his jaw back in place, gaze now fully sizing up the man’s large arms which seemed more prominent following the task.

“Yes,” was Chanyeol’s confident response after he gave the question some thought, “... I think so.” 

So he was ripped, his memory was good _and_ he was unnaturally strong? Was it time to start believing in a holy power? Kyungsoo placed a hand over his lips before offering Chanyeol a silent nod good-night as he slipped out of the room and expelled a deep and much needed breath in his quiet room. 

_Be strong_ , he told himself. _It can’t get worse_.

 

 

 

One fantastical dream sequence later.

“ _So, what do you think?? You like it?”_ demanded Kyungsoo as he pushed the roast seafood skewers up to the chef.

The chef grinned and leaned across the worktop, the stick still firmly lodged in his mouth as he talked around it.

“ _I love it, Kyungsoo_.”

“ _Oh good_.” The executive puffed out a breath of relief, before tugging the stick out of the other’s lips - “ _I’m so glad Chany--_ ”

 

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!”

 

Kyungsoo lifted himself out from his bed and his dreams, totally _The Mummy_ style, yelling madly into the hollow room. 

Within seconds, Chanyeol was up and knocking hectically on the door asking if he was okay. Kyungsoo managed to recuperate enough to answer and then snuck back under his sheets, burning with embarrassment -- and marginal residues of arousal -- but _mainly_ embarrassment as he forced himself back into sleep. 

There was an urgency in this matter now and Yixing had to save him before he started making decisions with body parts that were not his brain.

-
    
    
    **PART 3:**
    THE MAN’S DILEMMA
    
    _ >> glitter x tyler the creator _  

-

Two weeks of Kyungsoo’s life passed by in a frantic pace, dictated by the instant spur of activity from the _Thirteen Diamonds_ live special prep, as well as the incorporation of Chanyeol into his life. By having someone else around, the routines which had been such a reliable fixture of his adult life fell away and for that, his time went somewhere else and did so much faster.

Kyungsoo couldn’t lie that they were having a good time. Going to work together. Having meals (especially now that Chanyeol could eat more). Annoying Minseok (who Chanyeol now informally assisted with his duties). Shopping for new clothes. He even managed to get Chanyeol to try the bus (which he listed as the top human activity that made him the most anxious as travelling _generally_ turned him into a wreck). They had sat together on the Number 12 bus on a Sunday morning - side-by-side with Chanyeol clinging tightly to his arm as he passed uneasy stares towards the mass of strangers that surrounded them. 

“I’m so nervous,” whispered Chanyeol into his ear, “I’m sorry if I accidentally lick your face--”

“Don’t--” Kyungsoo said with a scowl, looking down at the man, “One time was enough. And the taxi driver thought that was super weird--”

“I can’t help it! I’m really nervous!”

“Why! It’s just a bus!”

Kyungsoo calmed the quaking man down by letting him rest his head on his shoulder. Totally platonically. Kyungsoo imagined that he was spiritually disconnected the entire time, skipping the intimacy and friendliness of the action, and only returned to earth the moment Chanyeol began to squish him closer, thus indirectly maneuvering himself onto his lap. 

“Chanyeol--stop!--Stop!”

“Sorry! Sorry! Habit!”

Chanyeol pressed his face closer into Kyungsoo’s neck as the other spiritually disconnected again -- imagining that he was anywhere else in the world but here, crushed against the most adorable man in existence. 

 

 

 

 

The bus story -- the taxi driver story -- and all the other priceless tales that Kyungsoo had managed to collect about Chanyeol over the two weeks they had spent together were communicated to Yixing during a long overdue phone call. They shared the call whilst Kyungsoo was busy cooking his signature spicy pork. Chanyeol was in the living room watching _Blooming Days_ \-- a newfound obsession that Kyungsoo told Yixing about because it was just hilarious.

“... he can’t stop watching the episodes! He’s probably watched over fifty now! I can’t tell him that it’s filmed in the same production centre otherwise he’s probably going to run off and Minseok will have a heart attack if he loses him…” 

_“Sounds like you’re having fun! I’m so glad. I told you that having someone new in your life will be good for you!_ ” 

“Yeah,” answered Kyungsoo lightly as his thoughts touched on how much easier he had been feeling in his evenings with someone to talk to and binge-watch TV with. Although he may have thought that Chanyeol falling into his care now of all times was the supreme definition of ass-crack luck -- he recognised that he probably needed this distraction now more than ever with _Thirteen Diamonds_ consuming even more of his life. 

_“.... but I have to tell you Kyungsoo. You have to let Chanyeol go._ ” 

The words entered Kyungsoo’s consciousness just as he was checking the boiling temperature of the water and he found himself dropping the pan lid in a clutter as his eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Hey-- what?” 

Yixing sighed over the phone. “ _I can’t find anything about him anywhere. He’s a complete John Doe. And that means one thing…_ ”

 

 _He’s single?_ Kyungsoo’s brain suggested as he nodded his head.

 

_“... he’s trouble. Whatever he’s gotten himself into. It’s too big for us. Take him down to the police station and say goodbye. That’s my conclusion.”_

“But,” Kyungsoo looked towards the door where he imagined Chanyeol would be bounding into minutes from now when the _Blooming Days_ episode ends and he would be bursting with theories about what would happen next, “-- is that really what you think?”

 _“Yes… nipple piercing swear._ ”

“Okay then.” A look of sadness crossed Kyungsoo’s expression as he heard the familiar sound of the _Blooming Days_ credits theme playing. “I’ll talk to you later then.”

 _“Yeah, keep in touch. Sorry I couldn’t bring better news, Kyungsoo._ ”

Seconds after the phone line went dead, Chanyeol entered the kitchen with the brightest grin on his face. He babbled on and on about the show for a few seconds before he turned his short attention span to the dish cooking in front of him.

“Ahh! You cook so well, Kyungsoo!” he complimented, his voice alight with affection, “I can’t wait to taste it!”

The executive stared at his face and felt the _goodbye_ roll to the end of his tongue. All he had to do was take it and say it. It was easy like that. He had fired people before. He was well practiced in it in fact. People could cry or plead and he wouldn’t crack. This was even easier because he had predicted that he would have to let go of Chanyeol eventually. With the others? Like the girl he fired from school council in high school? It had just been a chore he inherited from a president that was too chicken to do it himself. 

He just had to open his mouth and _say_ it.

“... here, taste!” 

Kyungsoo offered Chanyeol a spoonful and watched eagerly as he sipped the broth and expressed his gratitude with a huge smile.

The farewell fizzled from Kyungsoo’s mind and revisited him again later, in the night, after he’d spent the good part of the evening binging Masterchef with Chanyeol on his couch. He knew that he should take Yixing’s advice especially if it was signed off by a resolute nipple-piercing swear. But it was _hard_ because he enjoyed having Chanyeol around and knew that he would have nowhere to go if he was to be abandoned by the executive at some police station.

He shouldn’t care-- but he _did_. Kyungsoo sighed and groaned as he rolled onto his side and clutched his stomach as he felt his middle throb painfully beneath his shirt. It was always like this. Whenever he felt emotionally overwhelmed by something, some part of his body would ache. This time it was his stomach and it remained in that compressed rock-like state until the next morning when Chanyeol greeted him with a cup of coffee and said,

“Good morniiiing sunshine!” He was already dressed with his temporary I.D. badge over his neck, “That’s what D.I. Bloom says in Blooming Days!” 

All the tightness in Kyungsoo’s body unravelled as he passed the tall man a smile and murmured,

“Chanyeol. You want to hear a secret?”

“ _Yes_.”

“ _Blooming Days_ is filmed in our studio. Do you want to go visit?” 

It took a few moments before the news fully clicked in Chanyeol’s head and then he was celebrating: fist-pumps, gasps of disbelief and just a full rainbow of reactions that served to soften Kyungsoo’s resolve even more. 

“I would love that, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol finally answered, eyes glittering with emotion as the executive felt his stomach cramp up again and he couldn’t really yet understand why it would this time.

(Spoiler: it’s that feeling again, the one that arises when one is helping another person. But he’ll get there.)

 

 

 

 

One sly change of a security badge later and Chanyeol found himself anxious and alone at the _Blooming Days_ d set. Kyungsoo gave him very specific instructions: to keep his head down, stay out of everybody’s way, have a nice lunch -- and if he got into any trouble, tell the third party outright that Kim Minseok would come and beat them. 

Kyungsoo had trusted him fully with this amazing opportunity. And the thought of that was enough to send most of the anxiousness away as Chanyeol bit down on his bottom lip and went on his way.

He walked along the various studios, doing his best to smile at the people he passed as he enjoyed his newfound freedom. Whilst his lingering dog-side certainly missed having Kyungsoo or Minseok as a companion, his increasingly strengthening human side was stirred by the prospect of an empty horizon he could explore on his own.

Studio Circus (2) housed the crime-show Blooming Days which had the usual premise of a hot man and a cute smaller sidekick solving crimes. Except this sidekick was a cute chihuahua named Howie-- which had been the attraction for Chanyeol in the first place as they were his favourite types of dogs. Outside the studio stood a huge poster with the drama’s lead star: Kim Junmyeon. Handsome, with smooth skin and a smile that made Chanyeol wonder what dental sticks he used to get such great teeth. Whilst he would have been content with standing outside and admiring the show he enjoyed so much from afar, the tall man was shocked when a trolley of equipment was sent his way alongside a sharp instruction of “GET THAT INDOORS NOW OR I’LL KICK YOU IN THE ASS”.

Perhaps it was the panic of getting yelled at, combined with Chanyeol’s lingering pup instinct to obey, but before he’d even corrected himself, the man had already wandered into the studio as asked, pushing his trolley with a confused smile on his face. 

When he entered, the set was pure magic. He had been impressed by the set of Thirteen Diamonds- especially by all the beautiful men and women that flocked the place but this was completely different altogether. Blooming Days had amazing sets and they were all custom-made to the wild and fantastical adventures of the lead characters.

The one that Chanyeol had the honour of seeing was a jungle with false plastic trees and green screens angled precisely in various corners. He gulped at the sight of the various stars roaming around, some being peppered with make-up brushes, others exercising their mouths in order to practice their diction for their scripts. Chanyeol was completely in awe and in his distracted state inadvertently bumped into none other than—

“D.I. Bloom?” he squeaked.

Kim Junmyeon looked at him with his beautiful eyes and laughed softly. “Hi,” he said before excusing himself quickly and laughing as he strolled to the other side of the set.

This one second interaction struck Chanyeol so profoundly that he found himself in a partial catatonic state. Numb, he walked around with his trolley of equipment until that was taken from him and when he roused again -- he was already sat with the rest of the maintenance staff— some of which greeted him as if they knew him and offered him some of their thermos soup. They all sat in relative silence until filming commenced, signalled by the show floor filling with the sounds of distinct sirens, chaotic yelling, and shoes and heels clicking and scratching the floor as people scrambled to their positions. 

Chanyeol watched as the scene unravelled—

Detective Bloom slips into the jungle set, a layer of fake misty sweat on his face as he waves the group of characters over. They exchange dialogue. Bloom has a dry, smart sort of humour and it takes all of Chanyeol’s strength not to laugh at him as he makes a joke about the jungle heat and city folk. Then suddenly, the centerpiece, an animal handler brings along a _hawk_ and it is signalled to fly along the air for effect.

But it doesn’t.

The hawk remains staunch on his handler’s arm. The handler’s patience runs its course and he begins to yell at it. Ever so helpful, Chanyeol stands up and kindly explains that the hawk was unhappy with the lighting and that’s why he’s being stubborn. A simple lift of the backlights will perfect the shot and please the stubborn bird into doing what was asked of him. 

At first they were indignant at the interaction from the tall (but handsome) stranger but the director was so frustrated that he humoured him.

The lights were changed and they offered a patronising “I told you the bird wasn’t going to fly!”

But the bird did fly. And when it squawked out a noise, Chanyeol said a simple,

“Bless you!”

The director’s jaw fell to the floor and grabbed Chanyeol by the shoulders.

“Do you have any experience with bratty chihuahuas!” he yelled as he jabbed a finger at Howie -- or rather a trio of Howies as they growled at each other in a pen not far from where they were stood. 

“Plenty,” was Chanyeol’s confident answer.

And that was when the entire set lost their damn minds -- and Chanyeol discovered that even as a converted-man he could still communicate quite assuredly with the animal kingdom. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

News of the animal whisperer spread across the station. Kyungsoo, who would rather drown in the water cooler than have to use it as a crux of conversation, didn’t really hear about it until Minseok came up to him later in the day, cackling about the story. 

“Chanyeol is one hell of a dog slash guy,” he dropped in the end just when Kyungsoo’s attention span was waning.

“Huh??”

“Yeah, Chanyeol is the guy. The hawk whisperer. The talk of the town. Junmyeon is all over him.” 

“Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo gawked, “...LIKE D.I. BLOOM?”

“Sexiest detective on daytime TV,” affirmed Minseok as he watched Kyungsoo scatter from his desk carrying all his things in the quickest exit he had ever made out of their place of work. 

Marching defiantly onto the Blooming Days set, Kyungsoo watched the people scatter in smug silence. Ugh. _Dramatists_. They were the types he trusted the least out of everyone in the T.V. world. A bunch of overdramatic narcissists, the lot of them. And this was coming from a gay man who ran a dating show for straights.

He found Chanyeol sat on the side carrying a small ugly dog. It took a moment for Kyungsoo to recognise the dog as the show’s sidekick character. 

“So what? You’re babysitting chihuahuas now?” Kyungsoo asked Chanyeol, failing to remove the slight twitch of betrayal in his voice, “We didn’t pay you enough on the East Studio or something?”

Poor example. As far as Kyungsoo remembered, he hadn’t exactly organised a payment plan for Chanyeol yet. Oops.

“Well you didn’t pay me anything-- so no,” Chanyeol responded as he beamed up at him with that same happy smile he always had, “But it’s not that, Kyungsoo! You know I love this show-- well they’ve offered me a job! I have a job now! A job! A full-time job!”

“What??”

“Yeah! I’m… a consultant animal handler or something. I get to play with Howie all day-- or rather Blossom. This one’s blossom. The other ones are around here somewhere too…” Chanyeol looked around, still massaging the pup’s little paws with his hands.

All the excitement was confusing for Kyungsoo. He would later recognise the feeling as _jealously_ \-- but that was much later.

“What’s so good about this job anyway? Why do you want it?” he demanded, pocketing his hands and shooting a glare at the dog who was suddenly growling at him. 

“Um. Well it’s easy… I get to play and talk to animals,” Chanyeol said, as he gave the dog a sympathetic stroke on the head, “And I get to earn money. Jobs are good! I really wanted a job and now I have one!”

Chanyeol’s insistence on the word _job_ wasn’t a coincidence. The truth was that he had been obsessed with acquiring one ever since a few nights ago when during an airing of a _Thirteen Diamonds_ episode, he overheard Kyungsoo say something about a contestant.

“ _He won’t get a date_ ,” said Kyungsoo, “ _Only men with jobs on this show gets dates. It’s a statistical certainty. I ran all the numbers before._ ”

“ _Oh?_ ” Chanyeol echoed, “ _So only men with jobs get dates?_ ”

“ _Yep_.” 

So that’s the story of how ‘getting a job’ officially surpassed ‘learning how to sing’ on Chanyeol’s list of life priorities as he pushed along his agenda to get Kyungsoo to fall deeply in love with him.

Yes, before the point was forgotten -- that continued to be an enduring _thing_. Overlooking this entire plot arc, Chanyeol remained as in love with his owner-now-friend as ever.

And now that he had a job, the probability of his feelings being reciprocated became even higher-- even if Kyungsoo remained largely oblivious.

“... aren’t you impressed with me? Now that I have a job?” pressed Chanyeol as he beamed at the other man, “I’m going to work really hard.”

“Of course you are,” murmured Kyungsoo, shaking his head and with it all his qualms about the arrangement. It was all good. Deepening his engagement with the real world meant that Chanyeol would be able to leave Kyungsoo’s care much quicker and that was all the better considering how he was supposed to break it all off with him today anyway.

Yes. That was the entire point of sending him here -- to give him a final gift before they mutually called it quits. Now that he had a job in the same studios, it may get complicated but they could work around that once they had the discussion. 

“Okay. Chanyeol. Congrats. Sorry if I seemed a bit edgy. Just stressed you know?” Kyungsoo said as he felt the familiar curl in the pit of his stomach. 

“Yeah?” Chanyeol considered it for a moment before placing the puppy on the floor and standing back up on both feet, “Do you want to go get ice cream?” 

Ice cream was Kyungsoo’s _favourite_. They had gone on two ice-cream meets together and both were motivated after Kyungsoo felt particularly overwhelmed by work leading to an expression of interest in eating pistachio ice cream until he cried. 

“Uh,” Kyungsoo looked around. The set still looked a tad busy. “Would that be okay?” 

Chanyeol responded with a nod. “Junmyeon’s still in hair and make-up. He won’t be out for hours. Plus! I think I can eat ice cream without gagging now!”

 

 

 

They sat in the ice cream store at a spot right across the 30” television. Before visiting the place with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo had never eaten in the store before. Now he saw the benefits of eating in as there was no fuss: he could eat his ice cream in peace without worrying about the ringing phone in his pocket or getting run over by bus as he crossed a street. He also saw the perks of eating with someone across him. Chanyeol was particularly cute when he ate because he also watched T.V. -- so whenever there was anything too tense on the screen, he would pause with his mouth open and Kyungsoo could guess exactly what was going on just from the way his face would react.

Today he wasn’t watching T.V. He slowly made his way through his strawberry and raspberry swirl with his head down whilst Kyungsoo watched him, wondering if he knew about what they were about to discuss. It wouldn’t surprise him. Chanyeol had amazing hearing -- amongst other dog-inherited qualities -- and he hadn’t exactly tried to hide his and Yixing’s conversation. He didn’t know how to feel about this fact though.

In fact, he was beginning to realise that he didn’t exactly know what feelings were. Everything was new; and everything was making his stomach hurt.

“Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol looked up at him with eyes that were dimmer than usual, more serious, “I actually brought you here to tell you something. Something I should’ve said… two days ago but i didn’t because I didn’t remember.. But _also_ I didn’t know what to say…” 

It was a confusing intro. But it sounded promising. Like a break-up. Kyungsoo knew how to deal with those and nodded his head as if to say-- _go on_.

“I… I…” Chanyeol gulped as he sat on his hands and looked down at the table, “I remembered a little about my life before I became a dog…” 

“....WHAT?”

“Yeah.”

“... WHAT!”

“Not a lot but a lot more than I thought I’d remember.”

“AND???”

Chanyeol gulped and lifted his gaze to the eager executive as he began what would be a short but promising flashback story.

-
    
    
    **PART 3.5:**
    THE DOG REMEMBERS
    
    _ >> god’s plan x drake_  

-

The memories hit the carefree Chanyeol like a brick on his walk back to Kyungsoo’s studio after running an errand for Minseok. The errand had been to fetch a lunch set for a few executives. Chanyeol had been walking down the pavement, carrying the food, when he caught a full whiff of exactly what he had been holding. 

The lunch set was for a specific type of fried chicken. 

_Chicken._

And before he’d known it, he was in his early-twenties again, running away from his contracted job as a farm-hand after he’d advocated for the rightful freedom of some hens he’d felt sorry for.

 

“YOU CAN’T KEEP THEM IN THERE! IT’S INHUMANE!”

“THEY’RE NOT HUMAN OF COURSE IT’S INHUMANE!”

“NO THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” 

Okay. He had more than advocated-- he had freed them. It was also there during that fated rescue mission that he would scar his hand on a wooden fence. 

Chanyeol had freed the chickens and this was just part of a series of actions spurred on by years and years of trying to be a friend to animals. He had converted to vegetarianism, swore off the habit of killing bugs that clung to his clothes on long commutes, and even attempted to study veterinary science for a time before he realised that he would have to be exposed to blood and surgical procedures.

He had wanted to work in a farm because all he wanted was a quiet life where he could take care of some goats. But the farm was the wrong kind and for that he punished them. He didn’t really care about the consequences. Chanyeol had always been a drifter -- a runaway in the system who had devotedly looked for a place of belonging in others but did so without success. This was why he loved animals, he surmised. Never had he picked an animal up or spoken to them and felt any level of judgment or strife.

For all the good in his heart, Chanyeol was inclined to making strange and ill-informed decisions like… working in a farm despite being an advocate for healthy animal rearing. This was probably the basis of why he ended up signing onto the confidential biostudy programme titled _PROJECT RENAISSANCE_ despite knowing nothing about science. He had simply responded to an ad in his email which specified that a pharma agency were seeking young healthy men in their 20s who had an interest in animals and governmental campaigning. 

Whilst he wasn’t crazy about the second thing, he certainly liked the sound of the first.

So he conscripted and got accepted -- and everything after that became very blurry when he tried to look back. He remembered the place where he was kept with its scary white walls and cold dripping noises; he remembered undergoing strenuous physical training and being very tired often; and he even remembered the scientist who took care of him and occasionally let him watch T.V.

But most clearly of all -- he remembered one thing. 

The overwhelming loneliness of being a person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“.... I only remembered that I was a human at the end of the day when all the testing was over. When I was all alone, curled up in my bed, and I’d dream about being outside and the life I had before. I was… lonely… and sad… but that’s why I can’t go back. And I know that Yixing asked you to send me away..” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. Chanyeol cracked a reassuring smile.

“... and I’m okay with that. I have a job now, remember? So even if you want me to go, I will. I don’t ever want to bother you Kyungsoo. I’ll work and I’ll find myself a place and I’ll still come and see you and Minseok everyday.”

Clearly, he had thought about this with some clarity but Kyungsoo who was only really processing everything now was still stuck at the part where Chanyeol may have implicated himself in a confidential government project involving biological weapons.

“... Firstly Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said after shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, “From now on, we don’t talk about the lab. Got it? I never heard it. _Secondly_...” 

So Chanyeol had a job. Great. So he could eat human food now. Even better. But the truth of the matter was that Kyungsoo was ready to admit that he liked having Chanyeol around and no amount of Yixing’s meaningfulness could diminish the importance of that. And after hearing that his previous life as a human involved no shady shit aside from voluntary vegetarianism, Kyungsoo saw only one conclusion to this dilemma.

“You’re not going anywhere. At least for now,” he released a breath, one that comforted the knots in his stomach, “Maybe we’ll revisit this three months from now after my job eases up. But.. I can have you around for longer… if you want to stay...:”

Chanyeol’s expression was one of pure shock. “R--Really?” 

“Yeah,” Already Kyungsoo felt much better than he had done for a few hours. He even managed a smile in the other’s direction, “You can stay.” 

“Kyungsoo!! I!!” There were already tears in Chanyeol’s big eyes, “ _Thank you!_... can I hug you?? Can I?” 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before opening his arms and allowing the huge man to leap into his arms as he embraced him securely. 

He wasn’t a big hugger but this felt nice. It was a running theme with Chanyeol really. Everything felt _nice_ with him around. 

“God I want to lick your face…” he heard Chanyeol mutter, “But I won’t.”

Nice and… really weird.

“... I mean… I can’t lick your face right, Kyungsoo?”

“No.”

“Okay, just checking.”

-
    
    
    **PART 4:**
    
    THREE MONTHS PASS
    
    _ >> loving is easy x rex orange county_  
    _ >> it’s u x cavetown_

-

-

 

 

Time passed and like the seamless transition reel in movies, serenaded by familiar Sinatra classics, it went by painlessly and with plenty of beautiful memories scored between mind numbingly dull ones. If Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’s months were to be portrayed filmically, the bulk of the flash-forwards would be as follows:

One. The weekly visits to the same ice cream store in which Chanyeol would show slow but progressive tolerance of different types of flavours. On the day he managed to eat a whole pistachio cone, Kyungsoo brushed Chanyeol’s lips with a tissue and a small tear formed in the corner of his eye.

Two. The stereotypical living together clips not exclusive to: Chanyeol and Kyungsoo brushing their teeth together in the same bathroom. Lip-syncing the rap to _Stir Fry_ at 5:30am half-asleep. Kyungsoo sleeping in at weekends and waking up to find Chanyeol cross-legged in the front yard with dirt all over his hands and a big hole in front of him.

 

“Is it a body?” The T.V. executive cried as he ran across -- and then ran back after realising he was barefoot.

“Nope! It’s the breakfast! I… tried to cook for you but it went wrong!” Chanyeol said with wide guilty eyes. 

“What did I say about burying stuff?” Kyungsoo sighed as he finally walked across the yard with slippers on.

“Um…” Chanyeol scratched his hair, “To… not?”

Kyungsoo peered into the hole and saw that Chanyeol had chucked the whole pan in. He felt an instant spike of rage stir behind his eyes until he remembered that the tall man had been making breakfast for him. And that was pretty nice.

“Let me… show you how it’s done,” he said with a huff as he spent the morning making eggs over easy with Chanyeol by his side. 

 

More dancing to trap music. Kyungsoo forgetting things and Chanyeol remembering them: from the location of his keys, his phone, all the way to the schedule of their favourite cooking shows. Chanyeol forcing Kyungsoo to watch Blooming Days when he occasionally played a minor role as a background silent figure like in episode 90 when he was glimpsed briefly in a _hysterical panicked crowd_ scene. 

Kyungsoo watched the clip but after getting bored from watching Junmyeon, he fell asleep on Chanyeol’s shoulder -- which left the tall man wondering again whether this would be an inappropriate time to lick his face.

Three. Awkward semi-sensual encounters. Watching movies together on quiet Saturday evenings and accidentally meeting eyes during a kissing or sex scene. Kyungsoo found _those_ particularly awkward as he couldn’t really remember the last time he watched a movie with another man -- without at least making out with them after. And they were doing it every week with no fail. Puzzled, he described the ridiculousness of this situation to Minseok and Baekhyun during one break hour. He wanted to be subtle so he chose to describe it in the form of an anonymous SOS in an agony aunt column he had (allegedly) read online. 

“So yeah, I read this story online about this guy… who’s living with another guy… and at first… he really thought about being inside him … every time they were together… but now he doesn’t think about it anymore… and they do normal stuff together… and he likes it… without expecting sex after… like what does it all mean? You know? I _obviously_ don’t know what to say… what do you guys think?”

Baekhyun appeared unmoved. “That’s a boring column,” he retorted with a shrug.

“Sounds like he’s falling for him,” Minseok said with a similar shrug, “Is the other man gay too or--?”

Kyungsoo had wondered that subject too and feeling particularly bold, he posed the question to Chanyeol during their next movie night. The taller man considered the question for some time as he usually did and answered with an enthusiastic, “Honestly, I can’t really remember what I liked before I became a dog. But… um… I really like men now… I think… shorter men… dark haired men… cute ones… you know…”

“Sorry I asked,” Kyungsoo said with a huff as he realised that Chanyeol had described _Kim Junmyeon_ as his ideal type right to his face.

His private animosity made the rest of their screening of Disney’s _Coco_ very awkward.

 

 

It was later as he was violently brushing his teeth that he remembered that Minseok had said something else aside from question Chanyeol’s sexuality. The second the words _he’s falling for him_ echoed in the hollows of his brain, the executive nearly bowled over and hit his head against the sink as he choked on his toothpaste.

Fall? For _Chanyeol_?

Impossible. Kyungsoo had never fallen for anyone and he wanted that record to stay clean. 

But he didn’t sleep well that night. He thought about everything they had gone through the past few months and curled up in his bed restlessly -- terrified like a child. Could it really be true?

Or did he just _really_ need to get laid?

This was an internal debate he went back and forth on for weeks.

 

 

 

 

Four. Chanyeol was even less immune to the awkward moments. For example, he frequently slipped up during his daily goodbye to Kyungsoo and would accidentally say _I love you!_ instead of _I’ll see you!_

 

“That’s so sad,” said Minseok as he stood with Chanyeol in the Blooming Days set. He was always there to greet his ex-assistant, knowing that Kyungsoo would drop him off first.

“You don’t think he heard, do you?” Chanyeol asked nervously as he wrung his wrists. The mistake tended to happen at least once a week and so far the studio’s worst-kept secret had remained behind closed doors.

“Are you joking? He wouldn’t hear _I love you_ even if you held him by the shoulders and shouted it in his face,” scoffed Minseok as he patted Chanyeol on the shoulder, “But I’d like to see you try.”

“Why?” asked Chanyeol, “Why is he like that?” 

“Dunno. For as far as I’ve known him, Kyungsoo has never dated anyone seriously. And certainly doesn’t look for your type of guy.” Minseok answered coolly. 

A look of horror crossed Chanyeol’s face as he turned to the assistant in a panic. “What… what do you mean?”

“Bad boys.” Minseok shrugged as he scrolled on his phone, “Kyungsoo likes bad boys. The trashier the better. The type that mis-spell his name on texts after they thank him for their night together.” 

“Oh.” Chanyeol felt his heart _break_ a little.

“And you’re a good boy, aren’t you Chanyeol?” Minseok teased.

But Chanyeol was distraught and he nodded with the saddest face that Minseok had ever seen him wear. 

 

 

Five. The moments accelerate in intensity and intimacy for Chanyeol as the three months countdown ticks down. 

Chanyeol is holding Kyungsoo who is asleep on his shoulder -- not just in their home but on public transport. Chanyeol is pushing the glasses up Kyungsoo’s nose as it slides down after he stares too long at his tablet during slow weekend mornings. Chanyeol is helping Kyungsoo clean the figurines cabinet shelf-by-shelf on Saturday afternoons. Chanyeol is wiping the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips after ice cream -- Chanyeol is paying for the hotdogs at the stand after hours and makes sure they get all the sauces -- Chanyeol is sharing his scarf with Kyungsoo after the other loses his expensive one in a bet with Baekhyun -- Chanyeol is cheering Kyungsoo on an audio call during an overnight stay at the office because of the live special -- Chanyeol is holding the phone camera up as Kyungsoo pretends to host his dream cooking show -- Chanyeol is complimenting Kyungsoo as he prepares for an executive dinner with the rest of the studio -- Chanyeol is tucking Kyungsoo into bed after his long drunken night -- Chanyeol is moving away when Kyungsoo reaches for him and pulls him into the bed --- Chanyeol is saying _“Oh_ ” and insisting that he stays away as Kyungsoo mumbles for him to get into bed even when he smells like a chihuahua… 

 

“Kyungsoo. You said I’m not allowed on the bed. It’s rule number one,” hummed Chanyeol hesitantly as Kyungsoo enveloped his neck into his arms. He could smell the alcohol on him but it was an undertone compared to the overwhelming scent of the man that he loved with all of his heart.

“That’s what he said,” hiccuped Kyungsoo as he patted Chanyeol’s back with a happy sigh, “Shhh… it’s okay. I just wanna… wanna c--cuddle! Been too long…” 

Cuddling felt very intimate. Chanyeol felt his face heat up as he finally allowed himself to relax. He collapsed on Kyungsoo’s smaller body which prompted the other man to heave, spluttering as he pushed him away with a scoff of, “ _Heavy._ ”

“Oop sorry.”

“Cuddle me now… too long… don’t want sexy.… just c--cuddle…” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes were shut. In contrast, Chanyeol’s were wide open. He reached across the space and pulled Kyungsoo to him, indulging in a meaningful embrace that he had only been teased with for months on end. It reminded him of what it had been like when he was a dog. When Kyungsoo had hugged him for the first time and he felt indescribably safe and _loved_. Whilst memories of his life before he was a dog only came in brief glimmers and distant feelings, he knew that what he felt for Kyungsoo was _real_ and transcended any species barrier. He had truly fallen for him and there was no way out now.

“I love you, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol whispered to the man in his arms, feeling his voice shake as he smiled a sad but knowing smile, “I love you so much.”

He hadn’t expected a reply. But he received one anyway. 

“No, you doooon’t!” 

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed as he gulped. “I do,” he murmured, “I really do.”

“No you don’t,” insisted Kyungsoo again as he hiccuped before explaining, “I’m a b--bad boy… Chanyeol… _bad_. You d--don’t want me. Nobody does.”

The words were so wrong. Chanyeol shook his head in defiance. If he could’ve hugged Kyungsoo any tighter without constricting his airways, he would have.

“No. l _really_ love you, Kyungsoo.”

“Oh?” Kyungsoo pushed him away with a huff and waved his hand in the dark, “Then out … you go.” 

Chanyeol’s face fell as his heart also dropped a complimentary depth. Tears were quick to tease his eyes as he looked up from the mattress -- feeling cold without someone to hold. 

“Out-t-t?” he said shakily as Kyungsoo rolled over with a sigh and pronounced a cold and certain,

_“Out.”_

 

 

-

-
    
    
    **PART 5:**
    
    THE LIVE SPECIAL
    
    _ >> 24k magic x bruno mars_  

-

This takes us to the modern day. Three months have passed, the live broadcast of _Thirteen Diamonds_ was around the corner, Minseok had dyed his hair a honey brown -- and Chanyeol, sweet gigantic Chanyeol, was, in contrast, absolutely devastated by Kyungsoo’s rejection of his affections.

He had promised himself that he wouldn’t be too obvious about it. But living with the man who single-handedly crushed his soul, and being driven by him to work, meant that by the time he reached the Blooming Days set, he was a quivering vessel on the edges of his pain. 

Minseok was the first to notice. He always greeted Chanyeol in the adjacent set after leaving a caffeinated Kyungsoo who annoyed him in the mornings. He found the six-foot man lying face flat in the show’s equipment cabinet -- or Chanyeol’s pseudo _animal consultant_ office -- sniffling into what appeared to be a faux leather rug.

“Chanyeol! What’s wrong!” the assistant cried as he lowered himself down and patted the man’s head, “Did you eat something new? Is your stomach hurting again?” 

Whilst Chanyeol had achieved leaps and bounds in his tolerance of human cuisine, his digestive system still suffered the occasional blip. The most recent of which happened to be spicy curry -- which they’d had as one of Kyungsoo’s favourite foods. The ex-dog managed a whole two bites before running two straight miles to avoid Kyungsoo seeing him throw up at something he enjoyed. Chanyeol was dramatic like that. And as a fellow dramatique, Minseok loved him a lot. 

“Nope,” Chanyeol lifted his chin and blinked at the P.A. with full, tearful eyes, “But I think m-my heart hurts.”

“Your heart?” Minseok frowned in thought before opening his arms and beckoning to the man, “C’mere cutie. Tell me what’s up.”

Chanyeol loved hugs. He leapt into Minseok’s arms, knocking into him with a yelp, as he frantically confessed all the events of the previous evening. He managed a quarter through his personal contemplations about Kyungsoo’s rejection before beginning to cry again.

“I can never be a bad boy,” he sniffed, “so Kyungsoo… will.. never … love me…”

This was the first time that Minseok had heard about the whole Chanyeol-Kyungsoo debacle from the source. But of course he’d known about it. _Everyone_ did. They were _that_ obvious. Sure-- nobody else knew that Chanyeol used to be a massive collie dog but everyone in the studios was on a company-wide bet on this _will-they-won’t-they_ love story.

“You poor thing.” Minseok sighed as he wiped the man’s big eyes.

“I love him so much, Minseok,” wailed Chanyeol, “So… so… soo…. Much…”

“But _why_??” asked Minseok as he held Chanyeol’s face closer to him, “Are you sure you love him? This is Kyungsoo we’re talking about. Do Kyungsoo. You know? 170 cm? Sourpuss Soo? You know?” 

All the taller man could do was nod his head as if to reaffirm the point before nuzzling against Minseok’s neck and seeking comfort in the smaller man’s pleasant perfumed collar.

“Love is blind, I guess,” mused Minseok as he looked down at Chanyeol whose tears were still making tracks on his cheeks, “I mean. Nobody really likes bad boys. It’s all just looks you know? Just form-- _hey!_ ” 

The pity fizzled out into a look of excitement as Minseok came up with an idea. 

“I think I know how to make Kyungsoo fall in love with you!”

“What!” Chanyeol was up immediately, “You do?”

“Yes… but firstly, are you _sure_ you want Kyungsoo? You don’t want… _anyone_ else? Not even an option B… or A and a half?”

“Yes, Minseok! I’m sure!” 

“Okay. I got you.” 

The personal assistant eyed the room -- all the various bits and bobs that had contributed to the T.V. drama and let his gaze focus particularly on the section with all the costumes sheathed and protected in long plastic sheets.

After a moment, he looked down at Chanyeol and grinned evilly before tousling the man’s black hair wildly.

“He won’t want another bad boy once I’m done with you,” Minseok swore as he squished Chanyeol’s cheeks together, “You can bet on that.”

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

“EXPELLI- _AHR_ -MUS! EXPELLI- _AHR_ -MUS!” 

Kyungsoo adjusted Baekhyun’s microphone as the host continued to exercise his diction, tongue looping around the various Harry Potter spells with practiced precision. It was one of the other man’s pre-show habits that Kyungsoo had long tired making fun of. If it helped him then it helped him. Listening to it was also a part of their set routine which Kyungsoo found particularly helpful in soothing him as they embarked on this hellish live episode.

“Kyungsoo, let me do your eyes. You look dead,” huffed Minseok as he pulled the executive away and dabbed the bottom of his eyes with foundation.

“Have you seen Chanyeol?” asked Kyungsoo, “I got him the front seat like he wanted… but…” 

He was ticking things off a list. Baekhyun’s microphone. Chanyeol’s seat. It was helping him stay calm and ward off a potential breakdown on one of the most crucial nights of his career.

Because three months had passed and it was finally here.

Thirteen Diamonds: _the live episode_. Showcased as the reality television event of the year, it had been trending number one nationally since midnight. 

Kyungsoo had been awake for almost as long. And now it was up to him to count them in. 

“Nope I haven’t seen him!” said Minseok. 

Maybe if Kyungsoo had been a little more well-rested he would’ve noticed how suspicious that response was but he had bigger fish to fry now. Shrugging the matter off, he greeted the remaining few staff members milling around him before casting his eyes to the clock. 

Kyungsoo watched as the set began to clear and the swirling chaos began to narrow until he felt everyone’s eyes settle on him. 

 

_Three_

_Two_

_One_.

 

The show goes live at his call. Deafening applause. The set erupts with life as bright new lights appear from the ceiling to illuminate all corners of the floor level. Baekhyun is unmatched and unphased as he appears at the entrance with a generous layer of smoke and a shower of golden confetti. He completes his unnecessary tap-dancing routine, as he welcomes the Thirteen Diamonds in. The thirteen gorgeous girls are afforded their own cameras and their own screen time. The audience goes crazy for their favourites.

It’s all going fast. And it all feels familiar to Kyungsoo who smiles. Maybe this will work out after all! All the signs are pointing to business as usual. 

They introduce the first three contestants. Kyungsoo vetted them all. He knows them: Jinyoung (26; Boring and Rich), Ilhoon (24; Rebellious and Poor), Isak (41; a Daddy.) So when Baekhyun announces that there are four, it sweeps over Kyungsoo’s head.

They come down the steps serenaded by their own entrance music. Jinyoung is shy and awkward. Ilhoon bounces to a Michael Jackson track. Isak has boxing gloves and punches the air to a Queen Song. 

“And laaastly, we have Chan-- Chanyeol!” Baekhyun gestures to the entrance as a man emerges from the smoke.

 _Gucci Gang_ resonates through the studio. Chanyeol emerges in a tank-top, head to-toe in Gucci-colours, donning extravagantly large sunglasses, a heavy gold chain, and swaggers down the steps. The thick gel in his hair glistens as he points at Baekhyun who greets him with a big smile. Chanyeol grins revealing a set of golden crowns.

Kyungsoo drops his clipboard and comes for Minseok and his head who he seizes mid-dab.

“What the fuck did you do!” he mouths, cautious of anything being caught on camera. They communicate angrily through practiced silent gestures.

_What do you mean?_

_WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING IN THERE!_

_He wanted to!!! So why not?_

_I’M GOING TO TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF_

_OH YEAH? TRY ME! TRY ME RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE MOTHER--_

 

You get the point.

After being pulled off from each other by another staff member, Kyungsoo straightened up his suit, took a deep breath and returned his attention to the screen, determined to take Chanyeol off at the next commercial break. 

 

 

The commercial break occurred after what felt like the longest introductions in the world. Kyungsoo runs directly to Chanyeol. It takes him a moment to coop up his rage inside and produce a legible question. They don’t have much time. He can be a mix of angry and confused later. “Are… you sure you want to do this?” he asks as people scatter onto the set and a girl squeezes between them to touch up Chanyeol’s makeup, “I can pull you off and call it a technical!” 

“No I’m okay!” Chanyeol answers with his eye-smile. 

He looks ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Kyungsoo feels even more nauseous up close to the tank top ensemble. His arms look _great_ \-- even better than when he admired them last. Has he been working out in between their movie nights? 

He looks like every guy Kyungsoo’s ever tried to bed at a bar.

Interestingly so.

“Um, okay.” Kyungsoo murmurs nervously as he steps back. 

The commercial is coming to an end and the talent segment is going to follow. “Just… I’m here, okay?” he poses to Chanyeol as Baekhyun slides back in to broad applause.

 

 

 

Chanyeol is popular with the Diamonds. Out of the four, he gets all the questions and the votes from the ladies of who they would date if the show ended there and then. He responds shyly and awkwardly to all the questions which increases his popularity even more. Online, _#TANKTOPGUY_TDLIVE_ trends number three nationally.

Kyungsoo is close to snapping his clipboard in half by the time the talent segment begins. Everyone completes theirs first. Some of the men sing; this leads on nicely to Baekhyun entertaining all his fangirls with another impromptu Broadway number. The third man outs himself to be a genius and answers math problems as his talent. 

When it’s Chanyeol’s turn, various sizes of furniture are taken to the stage and Kyungsoo wonders exactly how long he’s been planning this. His talent was the exhibition of strength and everyone goes _insane_ when he lifts the chest of drawers over his head with barely a fleck of sweat on his hairline.

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!” someone shrieks from the live audience.

Chanyeol looks up and laughs as Kyungsoo looks back and shoots a glare at the thirsty audience member. He remembers their seat number -- 32 -- and decides that he might send a junior runner to take something good out of their goody-bag. 

“Can you carry a person?” Baekhyun asks slyly.

“Um, sure!” Chanyeol answers, causing rapturous applause as all the Diamonds volunteer and the audience nearly leap out of their seats as they wave for his attention. 

In the end, Chanyeol chooses, carries -- and throws -- Baekhyun bridal style. The host is delighted and everyone is left totally in love with the adorable six-footer who seems willing to try everything with a smile on his face.

Kyungsoo included.

Now a little less angry, he watches the man proudly and wonders which of the Diamonds he will choose in the end. There are so many to choose from; it will probably be difficult considering how the man struggles to select shirts in the morning. But there’s no doubt that he is definitely going to get a date at the end of this. And Kyungsoo is happy for him. He knows the Diamonds well… but truthfully it’s them that would be lucky to have him. Because aside from his strength, they are going to find out that Chanyeol is really smart -- and _nice_ \-- and cute -- and buys hotdogs for hungry people who forget their wallets in their cars -- and cheers people up when they’re at their lowest -- and probably super loving in bed -- and --

Kyungsoo surprises himself and starts to cry like a baby. He buries his face into his hands as he finally realises how deeply he cares for Chanyeol and how hurt he was that he was going to have to watch him go on a date with someone that wasn’t him. 

He stays like that, not noticing (of course) that Chanyeol had spotted him from the stage and was now unable to answer the question that Baekhyun was asking him for the next segment.

 

 

 

 

“Chanyeol?? You there buddy?” 

The lights are hurting his eyes. They’re doing a good job of hiding Kyungsoo from him but he can see him and Chanyeol knows that he’s upset. He feels his heart squeeze in his chest as Baekhyun places a knowing hand on his back and shakes him out of his moment.

“Ah..hm?”

“And we’re back,” Baekhyun says with a soft laugh as he poses the question again, “So… I was going to ask… who is your ideal type, huh?” 

The question returns him to Kyungsoo and beyond the light he can see Minseok speaking to him. He hands the executive a tissue and pats his cheek reassuringly. Chanyeol bites his bottom lip and shakes his head as he looks at the cameras around him before he senses Baekhyun’s grip on his back tighten. 

“My… ideal type is… um… well,” he pauses awkwardly as his gaze shifts to the floor which the camera zooms in on, “It’s meaningless because… I’m already in love with someone?” 

 

Across him, about ten people drop their tablets on the floor. 

 

“Ohhhhh?” Baekhyun is quick to respond and after looking out and recognising the dumbstruck faces around him, takes it upon himself to save the situation, “That’s… very interesting Chanyeol!! Can I… ask why you came here in the first place if that was the case? You know that this is a show for people _looking_ for love…” 

The tall man nods guiltily as he turns to the host. 

“I know. And I’m sorry that I wasted everybody’s time. But I guess… I wanted to see if it was real? If the person I love… could really love me… like this… or just as me… and if not, if someone else could.”

The explanation is so sweet that it makes everyone crave more -- Baekhyun included. He leans across with wide eyes.

“And??” 

“And.” Chanyeol looks around as he plays with the hem of his tank top, “When people come on this show, they do things and say things because they have to prove something to get the person they want. The person I love? I know now that… they… _he_ doesn’t have to do anything to get me because he _has_ me… and I’ll love him whatever happens… whether or not he still wants me after all of this…” 

Chanyeol laughs as he looks at the camera and smiles brightly, showing off the golden teeth in a completely different light. 

“You see. He might not think he means anything to anyone. But he’s just as priceless as a diamond to me.” 

A chorus of ‘awe’s’ fill the live auditorium. Baekhyun clamps a hand over his chest as he reacts like he’s been struck with an arrow. Chanyeol offers him a wink before pulling the microphone off and walking down the steps of the stage --

The friendly commercial jingle plays as everyone’s screens fill with ads.

 

 

 

 

When Chanyeol emerged from the set, Kyungsoo was looking up at him with puffy eyes. He looked to be in a similar state to when they had watched the film where the singing child died and played with a ghost dog. “... Kyungsoo don’t cry,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around him.

“I can’t believe you have gold teeth,” Kyungsoo choked as he hugged him back.

“Minseok told me they looked nice,” Chanyeol said with a smile. 

They couldn’t hold each other for long. The rest of the set was in a panic and Jongdae looked really ready to murder them all twice: once in this life and then again in the next. “I have to go Chanyeol-- you should probably go hide in Blooming Days,” murmured Kyungsoo as he let go of him and wiped his eyes. 

“Okay.” 

“Um.” Kyungsoo scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “I’m sure Junmyeon really wants to talk to you… after all of that…” 

 

 

“JUNMYEON?”

 

 

Chanyeol’s yell rose above the audience chatter which prompted Kyungsoo to knock into him again, against a wall, as to reduce the attention they had pulled to themselves. “Yes,” Kyungsoo muttered quietly, “Wasn’t he the one you’re pouring all your love into?”

“NO KYUNGSOO!” Chanyeol yelled in anger, not caring whether they were against a wall or in the middle of a live T.V. special because he had finally had _enough_ , “IT’S YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU I LOVE _YOU_!! I LOVE YOU! I DON’T LOVE ANYONE ELSE! YOU ARE THE ONE I LOVE BECAUSE YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME KYUNGSOO— FROM YOUR SPICY COOKING… TO YOUR FIGURINES... TO THE WAY YOU SMILE WHEN YOU WATCH MASTERCHEF... I’VE LOVED YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART FROM THE DAY FIRST I MET YOU AND I STILL LOVE YOU JUST AS MUCH NOW!!!”

 

“OH MY GOD!!!!”

 

“... WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND!!”

 

“NOTHING… JUST… PLEASE STOP SHOUTING!!!” 

 

 

Minseok’s steamed bun fell straight from his mouth as he walked back into the studio and right into the uproar. 

 

Fortunately, the studio became filled with the homey sounds of the Thirteen Diamonds’ theme as the show returned from its break.

At the same time Kyungsoo took his first full breath since he realised that Chanyeol loved him. He really loved _him_ and he confessed it _twice_ in the space of minutes. Was it totally overwhelming? You bet it was. 

Kyungsoo had been so caught up with the idea that Chanyeol was in love with D.I Bloom that he never tallied up how most of his lovesick behaviour had been directed towards him and whenever they were together. Just a few days ago, he remembered how Chanyeol had helped him into bed and made him eggs. 

Nobody did that for anyone unless they really loved them. Or at the very least wanted to make out with them. 

Kyungsoo was seriously committed to trying and processing it all— but not before laughing at how red Chanyeol’s face had become.

And then crying. Like an ugly, ugly baby.

“Kyungsooo!!”

“I’m.. just .. so stressed out…” the executive wailed as he pressed himself against Chanyeol, further pushing the tall man against the wall, “and I was so… sure… about Junmyeon…”

“Nobody came close. Not even D.I. Bloom.” Chanyeol soothed him as he placed a hand over his head.

“I just don’t believe it…”

“You have to, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol continued to touch him, causing strokes of slow pleasure to fill Kyungsoo’s chest, “... I’ve always been yours… and if you really looked, you would’ve seen it.”

The eggs. Kyungsoo remembered now how Chanyeol had made ketchup art to make him laugh even though he had been so hungover.

His eyes began to sting. It was all going so fast— like a cannonball that was finally in flight after a century of waiting to be shot in the air. Kyungsoo felt his head— and then his heart— and fully tried to grasp that someone had just confessed to loving him and he kinda loved him back. No; _really_ loved him back. 

And it was really, really nice.

“... Kyungsoo… we need you… Jongdae is about to have a massive heart attack,” Minseok whined from behind him as he tugged on the executive’s shirt.

Kyungsoo nodded at the call and removed himself from Chanyeol— wiping his eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the past ten minutes. “Okay.. I’ll be there… just…”

And without any further delay, he pulled the taller man by his chain and kissed him hard on the mouth (and grillz). There was nothing sweet about it. It was just a good wet lip smack. For a first kiss it was a little too sexual— thus underwhelming to envisage. But it was how Kyungsoo had wanted to kiss Chanyeol for months since the tall man first started rivalling the Hollywood Chris’ as the guest judge on his dream Masterchef episodes. It was the kiss that Chanyeol wanted too (but he would’ve been happy with any at this point). 

“I had to… I’m sorry. I’ll be back for you later. Go hide.” Kyungsoo said after clearing his throat and sending a flushing Chanyeol a smile, “I… I… well I’ll tell you later okay?”

 

 

 

The television special continued and finished successfully. All the men came away with their cherished diamonds. The audience cheered when they got their goodybags and Kyungsoo’s show of resilience was heavily praised by the staff and crew.

But the mood changed for Kyungsoo after he took the first phone calls that he presumed would be congratulating him for the victorious night.

The first call comes from Yixing. As a refresher, he was the risk-analyst of a top city bank and the executive’s long suffering best friend. 

Yixing was furious and talked only of Chanyeol’s T.V debut.

“ _.... I can’t believe you put him on T.V.? ARE YOU CRAZY? DIDN’T WE DISCUSS THIS? HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE GONE AND SAFE SOMEWHERE!!_ ”

“Chill out,” Kyungsoo huffs, heart fluttering at being reminded of the man’s confession on T.V. which was had also gone viral online, “No harm done. It’s all just publicity isn’t--”

 _“THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOUR TV SHOW KYUNGSOO! I REALLY THINK YOU MAY HAVE PUT CHANYEOL IN A WHIRLPOOL OF POO --_ ”

A runner interrupts their conversation. Kyungsoo looks at the phone in the chubby runner’s hand and then at the one held in his own. He mouths _Who is It?_ at his junior and the young man responds after reading something off his palm --

“Someone from… _Caring Intelligent Animals_?”

-
    
    
    **PART 6:**
    
    THE SCIENTIST
    
    _ >> run x ski mask the slump god_  

-

Kyungsoo rejected the call with a panicked flail of limbs as he darted into the T.V. studio and yanked Chanyeol off the Blooming Days set. He told Minseok and Jongdae and Baekhyun -- and all relevant parties -- that he was instigating a _Code Thirteen_ which was part of a private on-set codex that suggested: _an emergency of severe dependency on time and high personal significance;_. Nobody had claimed a Code Thirteen this year. Not even Baekhyun when his dog had an allergy attack at his daycare.

It was so conventionally respected that nobody dared to ask about Kyungsoo’s attendance at the after party. 

The executive took a baffled Chanyeol to the safest place he knew and explained about the phone-call, aware now of the dangers he had carelessly pulled the man into. Yes. It may have all been Chanyeol and Minseok’s doing but he had been the one to let the cameras go on. He should have known better. 

“Nobody will find you here,” said Kyungsoo as he opened the hotel room door and practically yanked the oblivious taller man onto the bed, “This is no-man’s land.”

“Oh?” The hotel room was nice. It had cream-walls. A king sized bed and a 40” television. It had an ensuite. A set of barred windows and balcony. But aside from that, perfectly ordinary. “I thought it was called _The King’s Court!_ ” 

It had been the name at the front. Chanyeol had noticed that.

“Yes, that’s the name,” Kyungsoo affirmed. He sat down on the bed and pulled his shoes off, tucking them underneath as he rubbed his scalp and took the first deep calming breath he could afford to reward himself. “But this is also known as the hotel that every celebrity, government official, top banker, billionaire wacko, chooses to _bone_ each other. You name the who’s who and they’ve definitely been here to fuck somebody-- so trust me, this is _absolutely_ , the safest place in the city and nobody will touch you here… which is ironically a practice that is very new to this place…”

“And you know this because…” trailed Chanyeol.

“Oh, please.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before landing on the bed and pulling his incessantly scratching hands onto his face. He let the room disappear as he shut his eyes and focused on the trusty rhythms of his chest. It wasn’t calming him as such but it was letting his brain think about something else aside from the shitstorm he may have inadvertently triggered outside of the hotel room. 

Chanyeol joined him after removing his chains, coat and various paraphernalia. The truth was that all the expensive stuff Minseok had made him wear had either been uncomfortable, mismatched in size, or heavy. He far preferred the comfortable reliable clothes that Kyungsoo had helped him buy over the few months. 

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo,” murmured Chanyeol as he moved closer to him -- “I didn’t mean to cause all of this.”

“It’s my fault too,” said Kyungsoo. He let his hands slide away to his sides as he passed the taller man a sideways glance. Up close, he spied Chanyeol’s grillz and false neck tattoos and found himself smiling at the _madness_ of it. “I should’ve taken better care of you, Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo admitted, rolling to his sides to ensure that they were face-to-face, “That was the deal, right?”

“You took care of me really well. I was the one that made the bad decision.” Chanyeol admitted. He didn’t want Kyungsoo to feel guilty. 

“But if I’d realised you’d loved me earlier—“

“None of it matters.. I still love you,” Chanyeol said without a single beat of hesitation, dark eyes alighting with the words despite the shy curve of his lips. 

“Do you really love me?” Kyungsoo whispered, childlike in his anticipation as Chanyeol nodded his head.

“Yes I really do,” the other man said with a smile as he reached to poke Kyungsoo’s shoulders, “Why is that so hard for you to believe? Has… nobody ever said it to you before?”

Unsurprisingly, despite the many times Kyungsoo had visited this hotel, he had never done anything close to what he was doing -- or was about to do. 

“Um.” 

The first of which was cry— as highlighted by the sudden shine in his eyes and the second was— 

Finally and openly sharing his sob-story. The origin tales— the operatic prelude— for why a concerningly high proportion of the men he had hooked up with had their exes’ names tattoed on their buttcheek or why the very syllables of the word marriage made him want to hurl. Why he had denied Chanyeol the open opportunity to win him over all this time.

Why he professed to being against love.

“...I guess not. Not really.” Kyungsoo said quietly.

“ _What?_ What do you mean?” 

“Um.”

Kyungsoo lowered his eyes to the bottom of the bed as he revealed,

“I grew up as an only child with very religious parents. So in terms of love, I was always number four on their list -- you know. After the Holy Trinity. _Possibly_ fifth because they also really loved Mary. And I guess…” Kyungsoo paused as he took a deep breath, letting the tears fall as images filled his mind -- long forgotten, long suppressed -- of a little boy who pledged his heart away and never asked for it back, to a childhood that always seemed quieter than everyone else’s, “That may have affected my future relationships?”

Chanyeol, whose face was screwed up into one of pure pity, expelled a shaky breath.

“Kyungsoo… that’s so sad…”

The executive laughed. “No, not really-- _okay,_ maybe it is a little sad,” Reflections on his youthful years, of an unspoken coldness and detachment -- of devoting his time to worse and worse men, to more distant relationships, to demand less from others all rolled into a single nauseating conclusion.

Yixing was right all along. About everything. 

“... I don’t date. I just fuck,” admitted Kyungsoo with a sigh, “... because it’s all done in a flash and I don’t have to deal with anything scary or different to what I’m already used to. I don’t have to be disappointed when someone lets me down… or when they hurt me.. or… put me fifth behind Jesus. It becomes okay to be forgotten when you don’t want to be remembered. It becomes okay to think that you don’t deserve better.” 

As Kyungsoo began to sniffle Chanyeol felt tears grow within his own eyes. The two men lay beside each other, quietly sniffing, until Kyungsoo recuperated and said,

“What you did on T.V. might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me… aside from the time one of my friends put me on their shoulders so I could wave at Bono.”

Chanyeol wiped away his tears with his hands and murmured,

“Well… I can do that too… I’ll do anything for you, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded with a smile as he wiped his face, “Me too.”

And then Kyungsoo did something he _always_ did in this hotel and kissed a man. He leaned forwards and joined their lips together for the second time, letting the heaviness from his past withdraw and return him to the familiar warmth of this special moment with Chanyeol. It took a second or two for Chanyeol to return the kiss -- clearly struck with shock but before long, he was kissing him just as tenderly.

A tad wetly. But it was still pretty hot.

Kyungsoo, for all the advancement of his moral and emotional maturity, did fall slightly to his old habits as he found himself taking Chanyeol’s hands and planting them proudly on his ass as he maneuvered himself expertly on top of the other. Eyes stinging from his tears, he opened them for the first time in a while and placed his own hands over the hem of his shirt to remove it -- only to remember who he was with.

And then it was -- 

“Oh shit… shit… shit…” and he was rolling off him, straightening and tucking away everything to reverse all the past seconds, “Sorry… Chanyeol… sorry…”

“What for?” Chanyeol gawked as he looked at the other man and firmly patted his thigh, “Get back on!”

“No!” Kyungsoo patted his face, an act to get himself back into the zone, “We’re here so we can figure out a plan to make sure you don’t get taken back. This… cannot happen now.”

 _But it can_ , said the devil on Kyungsoo’s shoulder -- echoed swiftly by Chanyeol who looked fully on-board with making out over any contingency planning. 

“No,” said Kyungsoo, “as much as I would love to… and I would _love_ to -- we need to have something figured out. I can’t keep you here forever.”

“But you will keep me?” Chanyeol rolled to his side and eyed the executive eagerly, “You’ll keep me with you?”

It was the third time Kyungsoo had faced this question. The first was when he’d seen the dog on his doorstep the first time -- the second when Chanyeol had asked him during that night at the ice-cream shop. Each time, the stakes felt higher, the demands on him more pressing -- and this round was no different. 

Presented more clearly now than ever, Kyungsoo had danced through his life taking the easy route on practically everything regarding his personal relationships. Unlike others, he had always seen the route to walk away the clearest and it was always open. He had never fought for anyone he wanted to keep so he lost them all. 

Was this time really different? Was he really strong enough to break the cycle?

Ergo: did he really _love_ Chanyeol?

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol pressed, having grown uneasy at the blankness in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

And the answer to all of those was --

“--yes… yes… yes… ” was Kyungsoo’s breathless response as he met Chanyeol’s eyes and pressed his lips to his again, “Yes… I’ll… _mmm_... fuck… ing keep you…”

This time their make-out session took them to some handsy stuff-- but with some control on Kyungsoo’s part, the pair relapsed into a quiet brainstorming session in the silent hotel room. 

“Shame about your memories being tampered with,” Kyungsoo sighed as Chanyeol laid with an arm over his chest. He played with the man’s big hands -- particularly the scarred one which reminded him so fondly of that first time they’d met. A good dinner table tale if there ever was one. “If there was anything helpful about the scientist in there… maybe we can make something happen…”

“Sorry. There’s really nothing apart from what I’ve already told you,” said Chanyeol in a sheepish tone, “All I remember was that he really liked science. He liked dogs. He took a lot of phone calls. He had a foreign accent. He loved your show… his favourite snacks smelled like old boot…” 

“Wait,” Kyungsoo arched a brow, “Did you say he watched Thirteen Diamonds?”

“Well duh I’ve told you before,” Chanyeol said with a bright grin, “He _loved_ it. That’s why I know it and I remember the theme tune so well!” 

“How much does he love it?” 

Chanyeol contemplated the question before looking up to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes. “He has you on series record.” 

“Does he now?” Kyungsoo’s lips blossomed into a smirk as he performed a very knowing motion with his fingers against his chin, “ _Very interesting_.”

 

 

-

 

 

 

Frankly, Kyungsoo’s plan to acquire the rights to -- well, Chanyeol, was so absurd that he only felt confident to tell one person. The only person that would hear out his plan and give it the attention and fair criticism it deserves: Zhang Yixing. 

With Chanyeol confined to the King’s Court hotel, away from any potential snoops, the pair tasked with his care met up in secret at a non-descript location. And it was there at that backstreet _Wendy’s_ that Kyungsoo told Yixing about his plan to bait the lowly scientist into giving Chanyeol up through the use of _Thirteen Diamonds_. 

How? He didn’t exactly specify. But Kyungsoo was certain that he could use his _star city wiles_ to get the nerd to do what he wanted.

“That sounds insane -- and you are _not_ that charming,” was Yixing’s savage response but because he loved Kyungsoo so much as a friend, he offered to take him to a lawyer. And it was there that they could fully weigh up his plan against the other limited set which they had to hand. 

The lawyer of Yixing’s choice was, possibly, the sexiest that Kyungsoo had ever seen.

Sat behind a huge sexy oak desk, in a classic leather chair, beneath rows of shimmering frames of diplomas and a big sexy wall-fixed shotgun, was Kim Jongin. Esquire. A man who appeared too physically youthful for the amount that he had already accomplished. It wouldn’t surprise Kyungsoo if he had already Benjamin-Buttoned -- or better, _Dorian Gray-ed_ his life because with a face like that… _totally understandable_.

He was an absolute expert on entertainment laws. And according to Yixing, the go-to legal consultant with anyone who had anything to hide. And they had _plenty_.

“So you’re telling me,” Jongin began in his delicately pitchy but still sexy-thrill of a voice, “that your friend was a dog… who became a man… as a result of a confidential science experiment which may or may not be associated with the [REDACTED]... you have been keeping him despite full knowledge of this… until a few days ago in which he was a guest on Thirteen Diamonds… fab show by the way--”

“Thanks.” 

“... and now you have him hidden in King’s Court-- again, _great planning_ \--”

“Thanks again!” 

“But you’re here because you want to leverage the lead scientist’s love for your show to have full ownership of Chanyeol… who was a dog… but is now a man.” Jongin narrowed his eyes at the pair across him before stating a simple, “Did I get that right?”

Yixing and Kyungsoo looked at each other before nodding in unison.

“Yes. I think that’s a very accurate way to describe this entire adventure,” said Yixing.”

“Okay.” Jongin clasped his hands together as he narrowed his eyes, “So, which one of you two is he fucking?”

Yixing’s jaw fell. “Not me!” he said with a gasp.

“Not me… yet,” admitted Kyungsoo. He had no knowledge of how these legal consultations worked so he thought he should be brutally honest the whole time. 

Yixing sighed. He reached out and flicked Kyungsoo in the ear before stating,

“Jongin, I really don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Of course it’s relevant!” The lawyer gasped, “Love? To do something for _love_? That is a worthy and valiant reason to commence a case like this which has, practically, zero legal or intellectual basis!”

“Oh.” Yixing released a breath before passing Kyungsoo a smile, “Yeah, so Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are in a pre-lationship. So if you could give us a hand on this, it would be really great.”

“Consider it a pro-bono commitment!” Jongin announced as he slammed a hand on the table, startling the two men across him, “This scientist and any potential sneaks from [REDACTED] won’t know what’s hit ‘em! I can be quite persuasive when I wish to be…”

He gestured upwards. The pair of men stared directly at the huge shotgun and gulped.

“... I’m referring to my rich set of academic accolades by the way,” clarified Jongin with a laugh as he then offered the pair a lemonade drink from his virgin-minibar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The plan progressed at a maddeningly fast pace. Jongin -- and his army of paralegals -- worked like pros and before long they had organised both a meeting and a series of legally approved strategies that would dictate the pace of the negotiations.

Kyungsoo became busy with damage control at Thirteen Diamonds and so much of the prep was left to Yixing. However he did manage to come along to the negotiation which was in one word: intense.

The only thing that wasn’t intense about it was the scientist -- Dr. Wu -- who had a warm and kind face. Very different to the sci-fi villain that Kyungsoo was expecting. The biologist explained that they had been very worried about Chanyeol at first as they had no idea about the after-effects of their medicine. After seeing him on the show, he had theorised that the lack of medicine had turned Chanyeol into a _bandit_ \-- but Kyungsoo was quick to reassure him that this wasn’t the case and his ex-dog was totally fine in his care.

After that, the doctor explained -- albeit briefly -- what they had involved Chanyeol in and even though the details were sped through and lightly touched, it still had Yixing and Kyungsoo _spinning_ from shock.

“... so we were planning to use the specimens for [REDACTED] whilst [REDACTED] was in [REDACTED] but… there were other potential uses, for example in agriculture so we had offers from [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] but we needed to complete further testing. Between you and me, [REDACTED] is the right way to go and that’s where specimen 61 would’ve gone had he not gotten lost from the transfer to [REDACTED]...” 

“I really don’t think we should be hearing this,” murmured Kyungsoo to Yixing as the analyst took a deep gulp of water.

“Are you kidding?” Jongin piped up in between them, “This is why I do this damn job…” 

Shortly after the first hour passed, Dr. Wu seemed fatigued by the whole situation and it was around then that he began to hint that he hadn’t called Kyungsoo to kidnap his dog back. After all, they had plenty of specimens to help them and his agency and work was still his own -- [REDACTED] permitting. “Plus…” he continued as he smiled at Kyungsoo and the team, “I don’t think specimen 61-- ahem, Chanyeol ever fitted our criterion for the future projects. He was a great dog… but we never really needed dogs… we actually needed to train soldiers--”

“LALALALALALA!” Yixing said as he planted his hands over his ears and looked at Jongin, “I think that’s a sign don’t you? To get this negotiation on the way!”

“Certainly!” Jongin said cheerily as he tightened his expression and leaned across the table, “Now Dr. Wu, we are here to decide on what to do with Chanyeol and we are willing to cooperate with you provided that you are willing to do the same for us. Are you willing?”

He was willing. And Kyungsoo was glad because if he listened to the man talk about Chanyeol being unworthy for anything again, PhD or not, someone was going to have his cheap toupee tossed off the balcony.

“... unconventional as this may seem, we do have something on the table that may interest you. Are you, by any chance, familiar with the top-rated reality T.V. show, _Thirteen Diamonds_?” 

Dr. Wu gasped out loud, looking more alive now than he had looked throughout the long negotiation as he passed his lawyers an excited grin. 

“... I see,” Jongin drawled with a knowing smile as he glanced at his clients, “Looks like we are in business, boys.”

 

 

 

 

And so, a highly unusual precedent was set for Chanyeol’s liberation from the programme: the signage of several severely stringent NDAs and a spot on _Thirteen Diamonds_ for Dr. Wu for a precisely tailored taping at some point in the following weeks. 

Kyungsoo was happy to pull the relevant strings -- and even threw Chanyeol’s long abandoned collar in the mix. “He won’t ever need it again,” he told the scientist with a smile as he left to tell Chanyeol the good news.

 

 

 

 

“So… he really agreed to let me go? So long as you let him on the show?” Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo excitedly as he munched through the dinner that the executive had packed for him at the hotel. 

“Yep. It’s legal too. Sorta. He signed a paper,” Kyungsoo said.

It was hard to believe but he had the paper to prove it. Dr. Wu was really going to let his lost specimen free in exchange for a couple of NDAs which had Chanyeol promising that he was never going to talk or share anything about his past. Understandably, Chanyeol signed away the documents quickly, certain that he would never revisit that part of his life again as he embraced Kyungsoo’s waist in delight.

“If this works out,” he said with a big smile, “I’ll really be with you, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah, you’ll come home with me. Finally,” affirmed the executive as he brushed the other’s cheek with his fingers-- recalling sadly how lonesome the house had felt since Chanyeol had been locked away at the sinner’s hotel. Everything had felt heavier down to the simplest of tasks: watching T.V. 

After all of this, Kyungsoo was sure that he’d never want them to be apart again. 

“Home,” Chanyeol echoed, sighing dreamily, “with you.”

Kyungsoo pinched the taller man’s cheeks with his hand and pushed him into the bed. He kissed him a few times on the neck -- on the lips -- and collarbone before groaning into his chest and murmuring,

“Damn, I love you… and I can’t wait to [REDACTED] you.”

The taller man smiled warmly as he hugged the other.

“I love you too, Kyungsoo.”

 

 

 

 

 

__
    
    
     **taken from: ‘Thirteen Diamonds, EP. 82’ - 43.56 sec** 

__

**> >**

‘So Dr.! What do you think about Elle here? She chose you! Are you happy or what?’

‘I’m so h-happy B-Baekhyun! I didn’t think anyone would pick me?’

‘After seeing the way that you yodelled? How could anyone resist you?’

The scientist looks tearful as the Diamond of his dream approaches. 

_  
_

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t watch the rest of the episode. He never needed to because he lived through the taping firsthand -- and the only real memory he had of that filming night was how he’d driven like a madman to the hotel and rescued a nervous Chanyeol from within the confines of the hotel room he’d been held. 

He took the newly liberated former-science-experiment home immediately and then took the entire weekend off from work.

His absence form read: _personal reasons_. But the reality was much simpler. 

 

 

 

A thrilled Chanyeol stumbles back through Kyungsoo’s doorway and lands on his bed with a thud. Their clothes are scattered in careless swirls on the floor as the executive grins and rests on the other’s thighs, applying his hands to caress his lover’s face warmly as they indulge in deep slow kisses. 

As a reward for all that had transpired between them, Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol _finally_ lick his face but that goes nowhere for him. 

In reverse, however.

“... here?” Kyungsoo licks Chanyeol’s lips, lightly, teasingly, before letting his touches roam as he sunk further down bed, _attending_ to the other’s form -- his earlobe, his collarbone, nipple, breastbone, stomach.

Once he reached Chanyeol’s navel, then it got really filthy. 

Within minutes, Chanyeol is reduced to nothing but a pile of nerves, holding Kyungsoo down with his hands to ensure that he doesn’t tease him further. He whines Kyungsoo’s name helplessly and the room is ten times hotter.

“Where else do you want me to lick you, baby?” Kyungsoo asks as he rests his chin on the prominent bulge in Chanyeol’s boxers leaving the other to cry a desperate,

 

“EVERYWHERE!”

 

Kyungsoo breaks out into a soft laugh as he swats the other’s hands and crawls up to kiss a riled up Chanyeol again. This is it. This is everything; this must be _love_ , he thinks. 

 

(It wasn’t. There was no doubting that it was a critical mix of sexual frustration and slowburn lust -- but he would realise that later on too.)

 

Kyungsoo grins adoringly as he murmurs, “ _Good boy_ ,” against Chanyeol’s lips before proceeding on to reward his long-suffering lover with the sweetest -- and probably the filthiest dicking down of his lifetime. They try and take leisurely breaks in between to eat, hydrate and watch Masterchef. But it had to be said that they mainly spent their first weekend as lovers in each other’s arms -- and occasionally deep in each other’s guts -- content to be finally together, overjoyed that their individual journeys had led them _here_.

 

To a safe home that they could call their own. 

 

 

And so with that, the story finally leaves them -- back together in the same small but neat house with the figurines and the oversized hoodies, watching cooking shows on a big couch, totally exhausted from the impassioned sex, and dreaming lovely dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-
    
    
    **PART 7:**
    
    ONE YEAR LATER
    _ >> no brainer x dj khaled_  

-

One year passes and with that comes Kyungsoo’s long-awaited twenty-eight birthday. 

Numerous changes had already come to shape his life on the way to this new year: principally, a resolute career change after he exchanged his executive-role in _Thirteen Diamonds_ to take on the challenge of being the co-host of an online-cooking show. His beloved boyfriend Chanyeol was now busy working as the lead consultant for animal handling across all the studios which had required him to attend school and complete several qualifications. He was fully human now. He paid his taxes, ate fondue, drove a car, and ran a _Blooming Days_ fan blog.

The house they shared remained unchanged but it was much busier and far less neat ever since the twin poodle puppies they had recently adopted moved in.

Kyungsoo’s birthday party wasn’t anything like the one he hosted last year. 

After weeks of careful planning he invited his close friends -- and his parents-- to their home and they all shared a lovely dinner together -- which Chanyeol cooked under Kyungsoo’s close supervision. His parents amused them all with their lovely childhood anecdotes of Kyungsoo as a devoted altar boy whilst Minseok spent his portion of the night affectionately roasting his previous boss. Everyone laughed and cooed over the puppies and at the end of the birthday night, Yixing had to leave early because his job had a _thing and he had a meeting and he would see them again soon…_ and he offered to drive Kyungsoo’s parents back to the train station as well. 

 

“Say bye to them, babiesss!” Chanyeol cheered as he waved the puppy’s paw at the car as the analyst pulled out of the parking lot and drove away.

 

 

 

 

“FUCK LET’S FINALLY GO TO THE CLUB THIS IS SO BORING,” Baekhyun groaned, ripping off his tie as he downed a stronger drink from the secret flask in his jacket as he tossed it over to Minseok who nodded his head in agreement. 

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol ran into the living room and announced a delighted,

“THEY’RE FINALLY GONE!”

“THANK GOOOOOOOOD!” Baekhyun whined as he rummaged through his briefcase and quickly went upstairs to change his clothes.

“I thought he’d never leave,” Minseok slurred before offering Kyungsoo a wink, “Time to get the _real_ party started then? The whole studio’s there. Apparently someone’s already been thrown out. It’s going to be amazing…” 

“I know, I’m really sorry that you had to be here and missed all of that - but Yixing would’ve never bought it if it was just me and Chanyeol,” explained Kyungsoo, “But now we can really get my birthday party on track!”

“HELL YEAH!” Minseok cheered as he drained the flask and darted after Baekhyun to change into his own party wear.

Now left alone in their living room, with their beloved baby-puppies snuffling at their feet, Chanyeol was afforded the precious opportunity to bid Kyungsoo a happy birthday for the fiftieth time that day. Their private celebrations had started this morning after he gave Kyungsoo a figurine for his morning gift -- a collie that looked like him once-upon-a-time. The smaller man had fawned over it in the cabinet all day and only eased up after Chanyeol surprised him with his afternoon gift of a music box that played his favourite song _My Boo_.

He was now left with only one thing to give: his evening gift. 

“Are you ready for your evening gift?” Chanyeol asked as Kyungsoo looked up at him with shiny and eager eyes. 

“Ready,” Kyungsoo demanded as he held onto the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt. 

“You’ll… find out at the club, my birthday boy,” Chanyeol teased as he kissed the other on the nose.

“Sounds filthy,” smirked Kyungsoo as he tapped his temple, “I like it.”

 

 

It could only have been one thing.

 

 

 

 _“KYUNGSOO! IT’S YOUR BAE-KHYUN HERE WOOOOOHOOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU LEGEND! YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR BIG DAY? WELL YOU’RE WRONG! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT YOUR BOYFRIEND GOT YOU THIS YEAR! LOOK ABOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU ANNOYING ASSHOLE!_ ” 

 

 

 

“ _No_. Is that a--”

 

“A bouncy castle? Yep.”

 

“Does it have a--”

 

“It even has an extra discoball.”

 

“.... I love you _so much_.”

 

“I know…. Happy birthday Kyungsoo and I love you too.”

-
    
    
    **THE END.**
    
    

* _[REDACTED] refers to a respectable organisation that the author does not which to name and involve in this shameless indulgence of a story. thank you for your understanding._

-


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